Joined: March 30, 2011
Last Seen: 7 years
user id: 161724

Jessiebaby's Favorite Quotes

The most irritating thing when we were kids was not seeing the heads of people on cartoons.

A 50 year old white woman arrived at her seat on a crowded flight and immediantly didnt want the seat. The seat was next to a black man.
Disgusted, the woman immediantly summoned the flight attendant and ordered for a new seat. The woman said "i cannot sit next to this black man" After checking the flight attendant came back and stated "Ma'am I'am sorry but there are no seats, we can check first class, and then ask the captain if you may transfer"  About 10 minutes passed and the flight attendant returned and stated "There is one seat in first class. its is our company policy to never move someone from the class to first class but seeing that a customer is uncomfortable and it would be a scandal to force soemoen to sit next to such an UNPLEASANT person the captain ahs agreed to let the switch happen." Before the woman could say anything the attendent gestured to the black man and said "Therefore sir, if you could so kindly retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of first class because the captain thinks you shouldnt have to sit next to such an unpleasant person" Passangers around them began to applaud as some even gave a standing ovation.

Me: I'm gonna work hard and study this year. Get my grades. Spend less time on the internet.
Mom: Great, honey! I'm so proud of you.
Computer: Lawl, noes
Thing wittians hate #1
when people ask,
"What's witty?"


shall i do a series?

My brain is like the Bermuda


Information goes in then never to be seen again

This listerally just happened
me: *Listening to Dora in the background*
dora: Blow harder.
me: What are they teaching kids these days?

If a guy wants to date a guy, who are you to stop him?

and if a girl wants to date a girl, who are you to stop them?

People can date whoever the hell they want. 

Wow, Witty changed?
I didn't notice it!
Thank you for making 1283469 quotes about it to remind me!

From the bottom of the staircase...
t o   t h e   t o p   o f   t h e   c h a r t s .
7. 23. 10.