Jesslooovesyou97

h a a z a a h h h ' s   f o r m a t 

10th grade 

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade 
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. 

Senior year 
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. 

Graduation Day 
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later 
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.
*not mine, but so sad... hope you read it all :)

i can't do this anymore
 

Behind What the Eye Sees
Chapter 1
I looked into his eyes one last time. It was true he was dead. They announed him dead an hour ago, but I had to see for myself for I couldn't believe it. I know there are people out there suffering from other's deaths and who have it worse than I, but that didn't stop my mind from trailing off. Now you're probably thinking something along the lines of "who died?" and "im so sorry." Now some people will stand next to me and tell me they know how it feels, but they don't. They don't understand my dad is dead, there is nothing I can do to get him back.

Now you can think what you want, but I am a 15-year-old girl with her head in the clouds thinking everything is starting to go right, then all of a sudden things go wrong again. There are some people who think the hardest thing in life is finding a new boyfriend or becoming popular; they are mistaken, I've found something harder and painful.  I can't say that I have actually put in a lot of thought on the sitution, since my tears drown my brain in sorrow. I don't want sympathy in school, so if you think that I do, you're wrong; I want my dad back to comfort me and tell me things will get better. Keep dreaming, I tell myself. I never thought I would be living in my own nightmare. The full shock of the death hasn't fully hit me yet. 

There is one more key situation that I failed to mention his death is my fault. 


Just starting what do you think? Should i go on? Comments!!

that feeling you get when you realize,
chances like these come once in a lifetime.

• click to see this quote •