Jeusroks

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Joined: March 17, 2004
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user id: 4505

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Got my pole and went a-fishin' the other day, in an old tobacco pond about a mile away. Just to drown a few worms and enjoy the sun, and avoid the old rat race that they make us run. When up pops this character from outa the blue, said, ?angie girl, I got a deal for you." "Lewis Saffier," he said was his name. "And buyin' up souls is my claim to fame." Then he shook my hand, his was sweaty and hot, and he smiled like a salesman on a used car lot. At first I thought this yahoo was just a joke, then I noticed that his cologne smelled a lot like smoke. "I'm here to make a deal, for you, a pure delight. So you can come on down, cause the price is right." "Ang, you don't look too stupid, so I'm sure you're aware, that I'm in competition with that man up there. I know eternal life is what he always flaunted, but I can give you everything you ever wanted. Riches, men, power..don't that have a good ring? In exchange for your soul, why it's really no big thing. And when you come down later, you will see. That you'll be in the presence of good company. This I'll tell you now, for whatever it's worth, I've got every lawyer that ever walked on earth. And to assure that you'll socialize with the best, I've got every agent in the IRS. Plus them self-righteous preachers that you see on TV sayin' "I'll pray for you, but send your money to me." While they carry on like they don't feel no shame. All drippin' with riches and lustin' for fame." "With their mansions and their lands in vast amounts, a-rolling in their million dollar bank accounts. And when their time comes, I'm willing to bet I know where they'll be goin'- It's just they don't know yet." "There's politicians galore. In their finest hour they've sold their souls for recognition and power. They'll all be down there, and I just named a few, but you know "old Nick" has taken an interest in you." Then he waved his arms, "For you, a special treat" And a chest of gold appeared right by my feet. "I appreciate the offer, but don't you see, when the tax man digs in, he'll leave nothin' for me." He looked at me strangely, said "This won't do, well then I got just the thing for you." He handed me a catalog, with his dark red hand. There were guys in that book from almost every land. He said "Take your pickv you can even take two. Whatever it takes, for me to win you." But I knew what kind of trouble that would've brought. "Well, thank you, Mr. Satan, but I must refuse For there's no one in here that I want to chose. So take your old catalog, all steamy and hot, I've got something better, this don't impress me a lot. Now he?s older , that's for sure. And there's days that his temper is hard to endure." "But he always stuck by me, no matter how bad the situation got, or the problems we had. he taught me lots of stuff, I never knew before. And he never thought of quittin' or hittin' the door. So please Mr. Devil, don't get mad.. But you ain't showed nothing close, to entice me yet." Then he clenched his fist and mumbled to hisself, then said" I still got one more thing on the shelf" He then waved his hand, and the lightning tore, while he uttered incantations from Egyptian lore. With a dose of flame and some smoke, my friends, there sat a brand new Mercedes Benz. My mouth dropped open, man I was mute. For I saw it was a convertible to boot. With four on the floor, oh, it looked so fine I knew I was gonna sign on that dotted line. "One more thing," I said, "to complete this deal, I don't like the color of the automobile." Old devil, he just smiled, he knew he just got through. "Red, Silver, Black, what ever color for you." I said "The color fuchsia, is a favorite of mine. With a gold plated trimming, and that will do just fine." That's when he ripped off his horns and threw em on the ground. Then he rambled to himself, while he spun himself around. His eyes turned red, and he was pullin' out his hair. He was throwing a tantrum that was really hard to bear. Screaming out loud, he threw himself on the ground, his feet were a kicking and his fists began to pound. When he finally stood up, he said, I need a break! I've had my fill of your ignorance, it"s more than I can take!!" "A FUCHSIA Mercedes, I should give to you?? There are some stupid things even the devil won't do. What an UGLY color for a Mercedes Benz. That's one means that don't justify the ends. To think I'd had your soul to broil and singe, but I'm beginning to think you're some lunatic fringe." "You dumb idiot-this conversation is through. and I hope I never meet another dumb plow girl like you. You've tried my patience to the ninth degree. You slow minded red neck, get away from me. You go on to heaven for all I care. With a wave of his arm, more smoke and flame, Old Nick disappeared , just the way he came. When the smoke had cleared, I had kept my soul, there was just me, and it, and my fishin' pole. Well I sure miss that Mercedes but its just as well. Cause I know I'd a drove it straight down into hell. Well the hereafter don't scare me, quite like it used to do. Cause I think my future is lined with heavenly blue. I know I ain't much to brag about, but this I can say; I'm so dumb I was rejected by the devil, one day.