JimmyIsWeird

Srry I dont think all people do it for that reason. Not hating just saying...

But Jennifer you have made your point 17 times too so you can stop arguing now...

Not that I agree or disagree but I think you might want to find out more before you go spouting your opinion in a public place that is sure to attract hate. You have said it in the comments that you haven't read the bible and some of the quote is inaccurate according to 90% of these comments (I have never read the whole Bible either.)

But Jennifer you have made your point 17 times too so you can stop arguing now...

not necessary gabby. jeez. share your opinion but don't make the hate worse.

Yes, I was sittiing down on the couch with a laptop..

I think it would be a neat twist to-- *whisper* .... you will have to chat me on my profile so if you use it it wont spoil the story on here.

I don't share my opinion on the quote itself but I think you are being sort of rude about some of these comments. I respect the fact that everyone has their own opinion but if you don't want people to think you're starting drama (again, no opinion, I read the comments) you may want to rephrase some of your responses.

Just because you don't agree (I don't agree or disagree) doesn't mean she's trying to start drama.

Not that I agree or disagree but I think you might want to find out more before you go spouting your opinion in a public place that is sure to attract hate. You have said it in the comments that you haven't read the bible and some of the quote is inaccurate according to 90% of these comments (I have never read the whole Bible either.)

Lol thanks for the shout-out. I'm like, "wait is that my name??"

Overall this is a great story but a few minor editing texts might help.
Just a few little things like:
Always centering the text makes people go back and check who said what because nothing is truly indented. (I have done this throughout all four chapters)
Also, even though the story is great and you are just trying to establish characters, you don't want to focus on the monologue for both characters. Give them more to think about such as the décor in the room or how the lights sparkled in her eyes or something more than repetitive text.
Another thing is do you have any other big twists to the story?? Don't explain them here but I am curious and I cant wait to hear the rest of the story! :D

thank you for your feedback! I will for sure be working on these throughout the story. Yes there are a few more twist coming to the story. I love that your excited!

Great story and all but could I give you a few helpful hints?

absolutely always open to feedback

Overall this is a great story but a few minor editing texts might help.
Just a few little things like:
Always centering the text makes people go back and check who said what because nothing is truly indented. (I have done this throughout all four chapters)
Also, even though the story is great and you are just trying to establish characters, you don't want to focus on the monologue for both characters. Give them more to think about such as the décor in the room or how the lights sparkled in her eyes or something more than repetitive text.
Another thing is do you have any other big twists to the story?? Don't explain them here but I am curious and I cant wait to hear the rest of the story! :D

thank you for your feedback! I will for sure be working on these throughout the story. Yes there are a few more twist coming to the story. I love that your excited!

Awe, thanks so much, you're amazing too

what??

notify list plz :)

yeppers me too :S

Wow this is going to be amazing!! Allison plz :)
Btw at the end it would be cool to list as many witty names as possible :D

Thanks for explaining I was wondering what everyone was talking about.

Lol did you just document my life?

I know that some people make a big deal about that stuff and its really annoying but some people do have their own beliefs too... just pointing that out to prepare you for any hate comments....