Joojoobees2011

*Me eating with people*
Me: ill pay
Everyone in their heads: Better order the most expensive thing here

My mom making dinner:
Mom: Im making enough for you and your sister okay?
Me: okay
*when she put it on the table*
Me: mom..... both of those plates combined isnt enought for half of me

That one kid that you know and think to yourself:
Yep... you're going to be a pedophile when you grow up

That one kid that you know and think to yourself:
Yep... you're going to be a pedophile when you grow up

Me eating fries by myself: shoves 20 fries in my mouth at once

Me eating fries with people: slowly eats one at a time
                                            ^shoves 20 fries in my mouth at once

Me looking for something:
Me: MOOOOM! Where is it!?!
Mom: IN THE CLOSET!
Me:*looks in closet for five minutes* I CANT FIND IT!!
Mom: Lauren... if i come down there an find it
Me: You wont!!
Mom: *looks in closet for five second and find it*
Me: ...... thanks.....

Trying to catch snowflakes on your tounge

31%—in your eyes
43%—on your face
24%—up your nose
2%—in your mouth

How to make your cold shower water feel warmer
-------------------------------
Method 1:
•turn your shower water on super cold
•stand under it for 10ish seconds
•after you stop having a panic attack about the coldness turn it back hot
Method 2:
•get out of the way of the water or even out of the shower
•spin around and make yourself really cold
•get back under the water

You're Welcome

I make the most simple tasks into a freaking
Horror movie
Me getting out of shower: *hears the faucet slowly drip* *steps towards curtain and carefully reaches hand out* *rips curtain open to find my clothes scattered on the floor and not a murderer*

Those chills you get when he walks in the room
                      ^{^}it's cold