Status: eating goldfish~
Joined: November 22, 2011
Last Seen: 4 years
Birthday: March 11
user id: 241586
Location: Illinois
Gender: F
hi i'm lauren tomlinson

Quotes by Joojoobees2011

4 Easy Steps to Doing Anything

1.) Try

2.) Fail

3.) Collapse

4.) Cry
*Gets home from school at 3:44 after school*

Most parents: Great job getting home on time and being responsible!

My parents: *spin around in a swirly chair petting a cat* So... it's 3:44 and you're just now getting home huh? YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE HOME BY 3:40 YOUNG LADY! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WHO WERE YOU WITH?! DO WE KNOW THEIR PARENTS?! WHAT KIND OF GRADES DO THEY GET IN SCHOOL?!
Every other time im on witty

there's a new format that i have no idea how to use
When you talk about your parents:
To your friends: My parents....
To your best friend: Mom and Dad...
Dear makers of facewash,
Your bursting beads do not exfoliate my face and wake me up. They make my face all red and itchy.
My face isn't smooth yet.
Me: Mom, can I go to the library?
Mom: You have to clean your room first.
Me: Fiiiine*cleans room*
Me:*Puts cup from room in sinks*
Mom: Whats wrong woth you?! Wash that!
Me: *Washes cup*
Mom: Well arent you going wash the other things in the sinks too?!? And while you're at it empty the dishwasher too
Me: -____-

Moral of the story: don't ask to go to the library
Me: come on mom my room isnt that dirty
Mom: oh ya? Lets go to your room right now.
Me: okay then
*goes to room and its a complete mess*
Me: um... everythings on display
Me: like a museum
Teachers expect us not to run in the halls but yet
they give us classes on opposite sides of the school
and 3 minutes to get there
*When God Made Me*
God: better add 3 tablespoons of socially awkard
God: and 5 teaspoons of computer addict for good measure
God: and a pinch of sexy
God: darn, we are all out of sexy
God: .....
God: more socially akward and computer addict it is!

And who else can't remember what they did all day
before they found witty

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