Dave was bragging to his boss one day,
"You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name
someone, anyone, and I'll know them." Tired of his
boasting, his boss called his bluff,
"OK, Dave, how about Tom
"No drama's boss, Tom and I are old
friends, and I can prove it."
So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and
knock on Tom Cruise's door and Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave!
What's happenin?!? Great to see you! Come on in for a
Although impressed, Dave's boss is still
sceptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Ian that
he thinks Dave's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
No, no, just name anyone else," Dave
"President Obama," his boss quickly
"Yup," Dave says, "Old buddies,
let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, Obama
spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying,
"Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting,
but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of
coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still
not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds
he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name
"The pope," his boss
"Sure!" says Dave. "My folks are
from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long
So off they fly to Rome. Dave and his boss are
assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Dave
"This will never work. I can't catch
the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know
all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out
on the balcony with the Pope."
And he disappears into the crowd headed toward
the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with
the Pope on the balcony but by the time Dave returns, he finds
that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by
Working his way to his boss' side, Dave
asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing
fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man
next to me said,
"Who the f*#k's that on the balcony