*kind of a
more like me wallowing in my own sad
i'm gonna stop wearing the hijab.
you know what my axshole little sister said? xD "wow,
that lasted long." i'm not giving
sorry, kid. some of us actually act on what we care
about, even if that changes with time.
god i fxcking hate that girl, there aren't even words.
can't even. speechless. xD i can't believe how fxcking mean
she grew up to be.
this entire family assumes i'm giving up. this is a
step closer to my faith, actually -- because islam
pushes equality, pushes justice and fairness
and action on intentions. it pushes doing what you
think is the right thing.
i'm a feminist. i've always been a feminist. and i recently
decided that i thought that in my personal situation, with my
personal beliefs, and my personal attachment to my faith, wearing
the headscarf didn't go with those beliefs.
i won't explain myself. i've already given up on my
writing that made me cripplingly sad.
i've never cared much for what the others thought, as
long as the others were unimportant.
i just... never thought i'd ever start thinking of my family as
unimportant. as irrelevant in my decisions. as intentionally
i wore it for a year.
a whole year. only a year. it's taught me a lot, though --
about how the modesty -- integrity -- that islam
talks about isn't really in your looks. it's in your
actions, and the way you carry yourself. it's in your mind.
it's your soul. it's not your hair.
like... it's not different though. when i started wearing it, i
considered it the best course of action. it was exactly what i
wanted to do. and now, i still believe in every reason behind and
still live by them.
incidentally, i'm still not wearing shorts or short
sleeves and whatever. haha. wow i hate thinking about this whole
i can't stand my little sister. she's basically the
embodiment of everything i hate about people.
and now, every time i think about this decision -- this happy,
good, right decision for me -- i'm gonna think of her.
i want to cry. thanks, sis. xD
and i'm so fxcking happy for myself because even though
litereally nobody else is gonna congratulate me, i'll do it
now. here. to myself.
well done, amenah. well done for doing what you think
makes you happy. well done for doing
what you think is right. well done. you did okay.
even if everyone else says different, you did
and i guess that'll have to be enough.