Kandiie

Status:
Joined: August 15, 2009
Last Seen: 9 years
user id: 86354


Oheey, I'm Keshanda (:

and i'm trying to become a better person.


perth/15/taken<3/fuck you



+ Chances are I probably don't mean half as much as you mean to me.
+I'm on the pursuit of hapiness.
+ Dancing takes my mind off things.
+ I hate my name :l
+ I've had had one too many people tell me they loved me, and left.
+ I'm sorry if I don't live up to your expectations.
+ I have ridiculously low self esteem and I am extremely insecure.
+ If you knew what went on in my head, you'd never look at me the same.
+ Fuck the people who want to fuck you over.
+ I don't take compliments well.
+ I'm terrified of growing up, I want to stay young forever.
+ I love songs with meaningful lyrics.
+ My boyfriend is amazing; we've been through alot together and I love him <3
+ I believe that sometimes, good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
+ Caring about people always seems to get me hurt.
+ Music is the only thing I can always count on. <3



I may look happy,
but honestly dear

the only way I'll really smile
is if you cut me ear to ear.

 




 I absolutely adore making new friends,
So comment me? :D

I don't bite. Unless you want me to ;)


 

Kandiie's Favorite Quotes


Your eyes are swallowing me,
Mirrors start to whisper,
shadows start to sing.












 





wrap me up in your spine and whisper
me to sleep. tell me about those angels
and nighttime demons that haunt you
and dance  around you when the lights
turn off and you're without my touch.
reach out into the darkness of my mind
fearlessly, and cradle me into the
light. treat me like the person i wish
i were, not the person i am. wrap me
in your fuzzy thoughts and dreams, and
make this place a better one because
it now has you.                      
 






oh, my god
i still love you
and i miss you





 
(i miss you so much
it aches)


You are my sweetest downfall,
      I loved you first.
You may be perfect, but perfection isn't always enough.
It's a constant battle between remembering and forgetting.



TODAY IS MY SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY.

One year ago today, I was an inpatient at treatment for what ended up being the fourth of my five times. Last year for my birthday, I wished I were dead. Last year on my birthday, I made a goal that as soon as I finished inpatient, I would be back to 73 pounds by May 17th, 2012 (if I was even still alive.) Right now, I am 127 pounds and I could not be happier. I can’t even imagine what my life would be if I hadn’t chosen recovery. Would I even be alive right now? I am so thankful to be here alive, breathing, and celebrating my sixteenth birthday when I didn't even plan to make it this far. I spend so much time thinking about how horrible my life really is. But do I really have it that bad? I have a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in. I have a family who loves me and provides for me. I have a best friend who takes care of me, loves and supports me, and would give absolutely anything for me. (Hi Breanne. :) <3 )  I’m safe, I’m healthy, and I’m not dying. 

 

This year, I have another wish. Two actually. I wish that I never again find myself back where I was. And then I wish that YOU always find a reason to live. Whoever you are and whatever you’re going through, fight through it, fight for it, or fight against it. Whichever it is, don’t give up. Because remember:
 

when things are bad, they don't stay that way.

 

You said you understood me but now you see right through me.
This quote does not exist.
My heart aches,
my eyes sting; 
my breath is shallow.
I turn to my friend,
he sit in a secret place,
our little secret.
He’s knows all I hide,
all that is inside of me.
All my pain,
all my secrets;
my past,
my regrets.
I close my eyes,
I feel the warm.
red liquid flow down my wrist.
I don’t scream,
I am silent,
not a single tear.
No more.
I will not cry,
I will shut myself down.
No one will notice anything.
All oblivious to what the night will, hold out for me.
They’ll never know,
they’ll never care.
I’ll sit in silence and I’ll pray,
For god to forgive for my sins, As I reach for my little friend once again.