KaylaGrace75

Asking for help today .. its been a long and painful ride and I'm sick of it . So I'm telling my parents today and asking for help . I'm nervous but I know it needs to be done .

You guys have no idea .. i cant do this anymore . I tried to convince myself to be positive and get over eveything but i cant . everythngs weighing me down and i snapped a couple weeks ago and .. i cant pretend anymore . I've been pretending so others wouldnt be effected by me so i could make other people happy ... but im sick of breaking down .. like right now .. I feel so alone and im balling .. i cant do deal with this anymore . i want this pain to go away and even positivity doesnt help . im starting to keep to myself because i always do everything wrong .. no this isnt fake .. this is very very real .. & im stuck .. its like a black hole that sucked me in .. a long time ago .. stop the pain . thats my main goal .. but i dont know how and its killing me .. inside and out .

Hey dad, so your wondering why I called you down to talk to you .. well I wanted to get your permission to get my belly button (naval) peirced .. before you comment or ask any questions ; just hear me out. I already found the best place in Ri .. its called Inflicting Ink LLC ; it's located 2968 E Main Road, Portsmouth, Rhode Island 02871 & the Phone Number is (401) 683-5680 . The majarity of peircing stores cost 30$ to get it done, just incase you were wondering . Before you ask; I already asked mom and she gave me permission . As I was saying I'll take wicked good care of it and I'll clean it twice a day ; no more and no less with anti-bacterial soap .. there's not much I really have to explain . I want to get it done either March or April so it can heal before the summer time ; so it can look perdy . Well, I'll let you ask questions now and think about it .. just let me know .(: By the way ; I know your gonna ask me why I want to get it done and my answer is because I think It'll look pretty and I've wanted it done for a while .. So can I get it as my early birthday present? I've done my research and everything and I'm prepared . So let me know what your decision is . Thank youu(:
(*My letter to my daddy asking if I can get my belly button peirced .. asking him tommorrow*) :D

Detox day is really exciting for me .. now that all quote's look the same you can see the beauty in the words ; not the layouts .(: I think we should have a detox day in school or something so it doesnt matter what you look like .. it matters who you are .. ♥

 I want to travel the world and feed the hungry ; give shelter to the homeless travel to differant countries and build resteraunts that give out good ; make a well where anyone can go .. I want everyone to be happy . Maybe not me .. but everyone else . I've never seen such happy people with so little .. once I went to my friends church and they were talking about how they went to Haiti and how happy they were and how nice the children were .. when I'm older .. I'm going there . That'll be my first out of country visit . So I can help them . This year ; I told my dad I wanted to volunteer at childrens hospitals .. to make the children with cancer or other serious diseases feel beautiful .. I'm going to find out what they love to do the most and help them to do it . Or find out who their favorite celebrity is and try my harderst to get that person to come and meet these wonderful people .. I'll take them to the park .. for a walk .. anything . Or i could just be somebody they can talk to .. it doesnt matter .. these people deserve it . I want to make a difference more than I already have . Saving lives is a big deal to me .. I've already saved 4 and it felt amazing .. so with the people who can't help that their dying .. I want their last few years to be amazing and memorable .. I'll have them make a bucket list of things they want to do bfore they pass and I'll do my hardest to get them to do it .. it makes my life worth while if I can make others see how beautiful they are and how much they can have .. and I want to give these people the time of their life . If your with me .. go make differance .. start now . It's never too late or too soon .♥ My second visit will be to Africa .. I'll feed them and give them homes .. I'll bring books for the children, supplies for the families and food to put on the table .. I'm even considering importing a few kids here or families .. so they have a chance to start a new life in a place where its encouraged . I just want the world to be a place where half the world isn't starving and have countries with no famine what so ever .. thats my dream . To have atleast a few countries that are happy ; and healthy 

People are such hipacrits these days . Nuff' said .

Durring select I was thinking .. I'm free of you .. I wrote this in my phone but I still have to explain more soo yeah here it is;
"I learned why I'm having trouble telling my feelings for some people .. I'm so used to completely loving somebody that I'm not used to just liking them .. but I'm guessing on this whole *Him* thing .. but I really think I do this time .( : & it feels good to finally be able to say .. I'm over you. No matter how much you did to me I'll always love you but I moved on and no matter how much you beg and beg me to take you back .. I wouldnt go back. Because 1. I'm too strong & 2; I want someone who is fun to be with & I can just relax and be myself around .. I was with you because I love your personality but I also love helping people who need it .. I think thats my mistake" .. since I'm a forgiving person .. everything you did I let go of and said 'Oh; It wont happen again.' But ofcourse it did . Obviously it did. But you taught me who I wanted to be with .. what I wanted and especially what I dont want . So thank you .. for not only making me see true colors but being my bestfriend now & being there for me when I need you most .. you may not be here always but .. I appreciate all you've done for me . Iknow you were happy with me and all that stuff you said but .. your words dont match your actions so how can I trust what you say? You said you'd never let anything happen to me but you were the only one who ended up hurting me .. anyway .. I forgive you for everything but i'ff never forget it .. and I'll especially never forget you . But its over and gone now .. just .. thank you . & thank you to Nikki, Brianna, Hailey, Jon, Lauren, Gino & jeff for sticking with me through everything .. I honestly do love you guys and no matter what I'll always be here to .. support you & be here for you. I love you guys♥
Thanks if you read this .. I love you & your gorgous♥

I'm deleting the quote .. its too hard to explain why but I've calmed down and .. jsut yeah .