i have this pain inside my body
that makes me want to rip my chest open and just make it stop.
make the thoughts stop, make the pain stop, make the suffering
stop, make the breathing stop. i just want it all to
you don't get it. i'm not
sad and miserable all the time. i have this deep feeling inside
me that takes all of these emotions at once and mushes them all
together to create something i can't exactly describe.
i'm suffocating in my own body. i can actually feel myself
slipping away. i can be surrounded by so many wonderful people
and have this feeling that no one even wants me there and that
i'm a burden. so i isolate myself from everyone and keep them
all at a certain distance so i don't end up getting hurt. but
that doesn't work. i hurt anyway. i hurt all the time and i
don't know why. i'm forced into this skin that isn't
mine. i've tried cutting my way out releasing whatever there
is inside but it always comes back and i don't understand. i
just know i'm not 'sad and miserable.'