KimberlyluvsU

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Joined: July 24, 2011
Last Seen: 7 years
user id: 198735
 
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Quotes by KimberlyluvsU




 i might not be jesus
but i can turn water into kool -aid
friend: someone told me you look like an owl
me: who?


the whole class bursts into a roaring flame of laughter. tears start to fall from their eyes from laughing so hard. the principal walks in the room and slaps his knee. the local animals come in and create waves of laughter. god is laughing so hard he cant breathe. jesus starts clapping his hands and cracking up. the laughter dies down after about 2 hours, and everybody goes home with the memory of the funniest joke they've ever heard.
No, Mom. I go to Hogwarts.

Mom: So are you ready for school tomorrow?
Me: What? I don't start tomorrow. I start Wednesday.
Mom: What are you talking about?
Me: September 1st is when I start, Mom.
Mom: No. Stop being silly. I'm waking you up at six tomorrow.
Me: Why? The train doesn't leave until eleven.
Mom: What train? Stop being ridiculous. You're scaring me. Now did you get all your supplies?
Me: No. I have almost everything, but I still need my owl. Will you pick it up for me?
Mom:  I'm serious. Quit.
Me: Mom. I'm scared.
Mom: Oh, honey! Why?
Me:.... What if they put me in Slytherin?
Mom: GO TO YOUR ROOM. -tumblr

 



THE PSYCHO TEST
(Are you the next psycho ?)
 
 
A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, meets a guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was simply amazing. She fell in love right there but never asked for his number and could not find him.
 
A few days later,the woman kills her sister.
 
Why did she kill her sister?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


















 
If you answered “Because she hoped the guy would show up to her sister’s funeral” you think like a psychopath.




 




Kola: I have the necessary Koalafications
Elephants: Your Koalaiaifcations are completely irrelephants
Lion: Don't listen to him. HE'S LION

Bear:This argument is becoming UNBEARABLE.
*THIS ARGUMENT IS SO HAWKWARD*














There is a question on my mind all day... :/

Tell me :)

I dont think you can help me with this babe

Please tell!Whatever it is ,I'll give you a honest anwser

how do mermaids make love...?

Are you serious? -_-













nahnahnahnahnahnahnah
Lucyfacex,yo!
wooooooooooyieeeeeeeeww
pepepepeppepepepepeppieeww







Cop: "THIS IS THE POLICE .
OPEN YOUR DOORNOW!!!."

Me: "Not with that attitude




 

 

*talking to a friend*

Friend: hey, guess what

Me: what?
Friend: just guess
Me:
i have no clue just tell me
Friend: nope guess
Me:
you broke up with chis
Friend:nope, nice try
Me: you got a car

Friend:no
Me
:...
Friend: again
Me:JUST TELL ME OR I AM GOING TO HAVE YOUR FAMILY GUESSING HOW YOU DIED!!! -_-
Friend:
Me:
Friend:
Me:
Friend:nevermind




-true story-


police: THIS IS THE POLICE! OPEN YOUR DOOR NOW!!!
me: not with that attitude.