LOVEfuckIt

Status:
Joined: June 7, 2011
Last Seen: 8 years
user id: 180973
My name is Casey, I'm 14 years old. I have 5 best friends, Skyler, Elana, Taylor, Rebecca, and Paige. I have an older sister who I don't see much, but we're really close. Same with my little brother, he's the strongest person I know. I love my family and my life, but it's hard. Especially since I'm constintly alone. I'm not "popular" but to be honest I don't really care. I have enough friends and they may not all be as "cool" as yours, but they're true friends and thats all I need. I've made a lot of mistakes and I'm judge by a lotof people for them, but I don't really care, I had fun;) 
Good Things
Ice cream, Yellow, cows, One Direction, Zyan Mallick, Big Time Rush, Carlos, Summer, Boyzz, friends, laughs, john mayer, good memories, Great music, concerts, shorts, shopping, Ryan Gossling, The Notebook, Mac Miller, dancing in the rain, water slides, orange juice, Dunkin Donuts, British Accents, Channing Tatum, Skrillex, presents, volleyball, uggs, northfaces, soft things, happiness, adventures, his smile♥

Quotes by LOVEfuckIt

I feel like no one wants me and like not a single inch of this earth I belong on. I feel like everyone gives up on me eventually, because I'm just not worth fighting for. I feel completely, and totally alone, on my own, and lost in all the craziness.
I should have listened when they told me about you.
Everything is so broken,
 and I have no clue how to fix any of it.
You call yourselves friends?
When  everyday all you are is mean to me,
when you talk about me behind my back,
kick me while I'm down,
Make me feel so annoying,
I'm afraid to even be myself around you now
As if I didn't feel worthless enough,
as if I don't already see my flaws,
You have to remind me of them everyday?
Are you trying to see how far I bend,
until I break?
well guess what,
you've done it,
I'm broken.
I have to get this out some way or I think I'll go mad...So here we go, I feel like my life is spiraling out of control. I feel like I'm completely on my own, like I have no one anymore. And I've had this thought, I've been thinking about it a lot, I have this thought that I belong absolutely no where because I just do not fit in. At school, at home, no where. I feel like there is no one else out there like me or even some what like me, or that understands or even cares what I go through day to day. It was one thing when I was physically alone, but to be mentally alone is a far worse thing. My home life has never been good, but lately its been awful. I ended up getting kicked out and having all of my things besides my clothes thrown in the trash. With no where to go I was forced into the arms of my father who hasnt been around or even talked to me in 2 years. I live here and eat here and sleep here, but this is just a house, not a home. If that wasnt all bad enough, everyone else had to kick me when I was down. I feel like all of my friends hate me. Im left out everything, I cant even remember the last time one of them asked me to hangout. Usually when I ask them to hangout they're all too busy..Sometimes I just want to walk up to them and be like "how would you feel if the only friends you had left had a sleep over with eachother and you were the only one not invited, ever?" and they all make me feel like Im bothering them when I try to vent to them, you have no idea how badly I just want someone to listen.. And I'm ALWAYS the bad guy. The one who corrupted them. If you dont want to do something, then say no, you make your own desicions, I never forced anyone try anything they didnt want to. It seems like when I needed my friends the most they all disappeared, yet I was ALWAYS there for them. I dont know what the point of this quote is, I dont even care if anyone reads this, I just had to get it out some way because I have no one left to listen.
And now I'm standing here in a room full of people,
but never have I ever felt so alone

And you look at me and I seem to have it all together,
but never have I ever been so broken

And they all think I'm over you, that you never cross my mind,
but never have I ever missed you more then I do now

 

I know what they all think of me
I know what they all see when they look at me now,
I know why they all think I do it
and most of all I know that they're all wrong about me
They don't see the same girl they knew before,
 but I can't really blame them for that,
because I'm not, I'm not her anymore
They look down on me now,
like I'm less then them.
They think I do it to be cool,
to fit in, or have fun, or even for attention,
but thats not it at all...
It numbs the pain.
When I'm high I can forget the thoughts that haunt me everyday
For  a little while, all the bad goes away
and I'm happy.
So while you're all feeling high and mighty
Looking down on me,
Know that you are only seeing the misunderstood cover
of the book of a broken girl.

You can't talk to me everyday
and let us become so close,
then all of a sudden change everything
and expect me to be fine with it.
You cant expect me to be fine
with talking to you once a week
and occasionally you'll call me,
as opposed to us talking
all day every day
You can't expect me to be fine
with the fact I'm loosing my best friend.

I don't hate you,
I hate that I love you
I hate that I need you
I hate that you lead me on
I hate that I can't get over you
I hate that you're happy without me
I hate that these feeling just won't go away

No, I don't hate you
I hate what you do to me

And no matter who you try to replace him with,
it doesn't work
No matter how many other people you meet
No matter how many times you try to convince yourself your over him
you just aren't

It always come back to him
Just when you think those feelings are gone
they all come rushing back out of no where

and no matter what you do
it always comes back to him.