Hello and welcome to the mental health
If you are obsessive-compulsive,
presss 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you
want. stay on the line and we will trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be
transfered to the mothership.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will
tell you which number to press.
If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
press - no one will answer you.
If you are dyslexic, press 69696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key
until the beep after the beep please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, please try your call again
If you have amnesia, press 0 and state your name, phone number,
date of birth, adress, social security number, and your
mother's maiden name.
If you have low self esteem, hang up. All our operators are too
busy to talk to you.
Just thought it was funny...
don't want to offend.