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Do you ever get like
random burts
of wanting to do
something
something productive that comes to mind.
Like Hey I WANT TO
WRITE A BOOK!
Or
IM GONNA DRAW SOMWTHING
YEAH!
but then after like five minutes you realise
you can't do Either and go back to
doingNothing
at all
♥
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Not mine. I just love it
Unnoticed
Chapter
1
Have you
ever had the feeling that you wanted to sleep for a
thousand years. Or just not exist. Or
just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that.
Well that's how I feel all the time. I'm not the
type to " fit in" I'm constantly made fun of my
looks, hobbies and family.
I don't understand why though. I try to not cause any
attenion to me. I don't bother anyone, but they always want
to bother me. I just want to be invisable sometimes.
People treat me like a fly at a barbeque. Unwanted and always
trying to be smushed. I try to be nice and stay out of
people's way but they still treat me like I'm
nothing.
That was last year though and the year before that. And the year
before that. And the year before that. And on and on and on.
I wish I could have friends who go to the movies and hang out at
the mall. You know what normal people do for fun. But I'm not
normal, I'm a freak according to everyone else.
What I do for fun is watch some of my favorite movies while
eating my favorite Ben & Jerry's ice cream. Or spends six
hours on my laptop. Or listen to my music while laying in my yard
looking at the sky.
The littlest things make me happy.
There is one person who doesn't think I'm a freak.. My
brother Carter. He's eight years old, but he's pretty
clever and is not as childish like the other boys his age.
We're really close.
He doesn't make fun of me or makes me feel bad. He always has
a smile on his face which is serveley contasious. He looks at the
bright side of things and has a bright personality.
But the things is Carter is a mute.
He can't speak for some reason. The doctor says the we just
have to give it time and be patient. We can comunicate with him
through sign lanugae.
Which I love because I think is really cool and unique to be able
to talk with a voice. Carter thinks so too. And he is perfectly
happy without his voice, he says it doesn't bother him.
I love my brother, he is really cute with his dark brown shaggy
hair and chocolate eyes and his freckles on his face. He looks
like my dad so much. Unlike me who has light brown curly hair and
hazel eyes like my mom.
Sometimes when my mom looks at Carter she get's really
emotional and starts crying.
It has been four years since my dad died from a car crash. He was
on his way home from work and this drunk driver hit him. My dad
died on impact so he wasn't in pain when he passed on to
another life.
But when mom looks at Carter she can't help herself sometimes
because he looks so much like dad. I loved my dad very very
much and I took his death really hard like my mom. But I had to
be strong for myself and my brother and my mom.
Since them my mom works midnights and we don't see her that
much. We only had about ten minutes a day to talk to her. Five
minutes in the morning before school and five when we come home
to tell her about our day before she head out to work.
I wished she could work during the day while we're at school
so when can all be at home together at night, but her evil boss
won't let her.
I got a job too at a cafe so I don't have too ask my mom for
any money. You know to take some weight off her shoulders. And so
she could get more stuff for Carter.
We live in Astoria, Oregon and nothing bad really happens here,
so my mom doesn't worry about our saftey. But hey she a mom,
all mothers worry. I just wished she didn't so much. I love
my mom I hate to see her stressed.
Tomorrow is the first day of school and I'm gonna be a
sophmore. I hope this year will be different. I want to make
friends or at least get a date.
It would
be very nice to have a friend again. I would like that even more
than a date. But I doubt that will ever happen.
I'm
Laney Jameson I will always be
unnoticed.