ages 12 and 15, I
was really unhappy.
1. I was struggling with depression.
2. My relationship with my parents was
3. I was self-harming in various ways.
4. I was starving myself for days at a
5. I was dealing with a lot of anger
6. Once, I tried to kill myself.
7. I and stopped trying with school.
8. I lied compulsively.
9. I felt like I had no real friends.
10. I used the internet as an escape.
11. I genuinely felt like I hated
12. I gave up on my faith.
13. I made myself throw up meals.
14. I almost ran away from home.
15. I stopped talking to my family.
seriously thought it would always be like that. There was
no light at the end
of the tunnel. No amazing friend or soulmate to pull me
through it. No counselling,
no therapy, no support. Nobody knew the full story. They
were the hardest four years of my life.
But you know
now. And I very rarely think of that time at all. When I do
of it, I can only remember the good
things, things that I couldn't see were so
holidays I loved; memories with my little brother; talking
online with my best friend;
obsessing over the weather and drawing a billion charts for
no reason at all. The depression,
the pain, the darkness -- that's
It's kind of like a dream, and if I hadn't gone
through it myself, I wouldn't look at who I am now and
believe that it really
Because not one thing on that list applies to me anymore.
I love my family more
than anything. I have hobbies I obsess over, friends I
would take a bullet for. I'm completely
happy with how I look and the fact that I'm overweight
(secretely because my younger
siblings say it makes me really comfortable to sleep on
during long car journeys).
The point is... I went through that.
but it did, and I did get better, and now I'm really
happy with who I am and where I am.
I got better. It ended. So I hope anyone who's
reading this right now (for whatever reason)
understands that if they're going through what
feels like hell, and they can't see the way