LiveLaughLoveForever5

So it's been a crazy few weeks about 3 and half weeks ago, I saw my baby for the first time by ultrasound... heard the heartbeat as well. This week my baby will be 12 weeks, and I have to say, that I am excited to be the mother of this baby

Hmmm...
What's better?
for a girl:

Madison Aline
OR
Olivia Marie Aline

and for a boy:

Matthew James
OR
Timothy Joseph
 

The last day of school is on the 4th....And graduation is the 12th... HOLY CRAP WHERE DID THE TIME GO!!! it's the end of senior year already?!?...when did this happen?!?..
So let's see..Last day of school next week, graduation the 12th, applying to CCRI.. it's all going by so fast..

Ok...So last night:
Leaving Tim's house, the most terrifying thing in the world...why?
opossum.... It was just that, that scared the living daylights out of me.
Tim walked by it, didn't even notice it, and I took one single step out of the door and ran back inside completely freaked out, then proceeded to point it out to him (scaring him a little).

... Let's just say, I don't think i've ever been so scared of an opposum in my life!
at the end of the night I ended up in tears from being a little too scared...

The creepy little thing, most likely harmless, just looked as if it wanted to rip someones face off. Mouth open and teeth showing..Not the way I expected to end my night.

Today, I'm one day closer to graduation. One day closer to seeing you. One day closer to being married to you. One day closer to having a family with you..Today, is one day closer to being with you forever, the rest of my life <3
I could never imagine my life with anyone else, when you asked me to marry you, I was so overjoyed.  You have no idea how happy you made me in that very moment.  You gave me your class ring...and put it on a chain for me, until you can get a real engagement ring.  But don't rush.  I don't need the ring, to know that i'm yours forever <3
I can't wait until the night I can finally fall asleep in your arms.  Wake up to your loving smile every morning.  I can't wait until we have a house together.  A family of our own someday.  I can't wait for the days we can lay in bed, your arms around me, my head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat.  I can't wait for that one day, that we start the rest of our lives together <3
I love you sweetheart
1-20-13

Tomorrow is already our three month anniversary...Three months...Where has the time gone?
I can say that the time spent with you is the best time.  We always have such a wonderful time together <3 No matter what we're doing or where we are, and I Love that about our relationship. 

I've been gone for about a week, and before yesterday it had been about two weeks since we had seen each other.  And I can say that I missed you, but I wasn't worried about being away.  I knew I didn't have to worry about going away for a week, not having cell coverage or wifi.  I didn't have to worry about what you were doing or where you were. Because I can trust you. 

I know that I can trust you with my heart, especially after it had been broken the way it was.  I know that you would never hurt me.  And I would never hurt you.  You're my everything...I don't ever want you to forget that.  I would do anything  for you.  To make sure you're safe, and you're happy. 

If there's ever a time you're not smiling or not happy, I always try my hardest to make you happy again.  Because you're smile tells me i'm doing my job, as your girlfriend, right. 

I love you so so much. <3

1-20-13

I always hope that I make you happy enough. Sometimes I feel like i'm not doing a good enough job... I never want you to feel like i'm not there for you, or that i'm falling out of love with you. because that simply isn't the case.
i'm more in love with you than you could ever imagine possible and no matter what, i will always be here. you're a part of my life and you always will be. I don't think I could live with myself if i lost you... i won't let it happen

Well...I continue to hold back the urge to text him.  And I don't mean text him, as in ask him "what's up?" or to see how he's doing..
NO
I want to text him, to completely tell him off.
i've written letters, that I won't send to him.

I hold all my true feelings for him in the back of my mind.
I keep quiet.
Because if I tell him how I really feel, and what I really think.
i'll end up hurting him, like he hurt me.
And I just can't do that.
It'd be too mean
and I wouldn't wish that pain on any person.
Even my worst enemy..
 

Have you ever
just stopped and realized that
if you hadn’t met a certain person in your life,
your life would be completely different?



Yes...I actually thought about thisf hard the other day..
If I hadn't met my now ex-boyfriend..And if He hadn't put me through hell, I probably wouldn't be with the love of my life right now. Because at the time, I didn't realize that he was the one for me... I never really thought that it would be him.

But it is...and I thank the person I met...Who hurt me...Who lied to me... And destroyed me... I'm not mad at him at all for what he put me through.  I greatfully thank him...Because now, i'm happier than i've ever been before!


~1-20-13~

I was talking to my aunt. i told her what was going on in my life.. and she rememers that i have one of his old shirts.. my favorite one. and i reminded her it was my favorite, that i couldnt sleep without it.
she said we should have a burning of the shirt ceremony and the. she'd buy me a new favorite shirt. and i need to delete him as a friend on fb and in my contacts on my phone... i know i need to move on. but i dont think i can do it all at once... i need time