Dudu*

Status: interning...yay.
Joined: June 1, 2013
Last Seen: 1 day
user id: 361860
Gender: F

This turned into my diary somehow.


i have a black dog. 


I'm still learning new things about myself.  I'm sorry for the spam.

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Quotes by Dudu*


today i'll let you win.
i'm far too exhausted.
thoughts of you and me have tired me out.

tomorrow i'll pick a fight.
i'll remind you of who i am.
tomorrow for sure i'll make it even.
i'll be extra immature, i won't use any reason.

since i'm so embarassingly smitten,

i must poke the bear.
i'll remind you of who i am.
i'm the one who rules your heart.


 
back to square one again.
you know i'll fall for anything.

i'm getting a little dizzy, 
do you feel this too?
we've been here before it feels like deja vu.

your board, your rules,
my emotional roller coaster,
my grand chest master.

my gut tells me one thing,
just tell me it's not true.
you know i've already fallen for you.

now walking me back to the starting line,
can't we play this game another time?
with a glance i feel you put the blinders on.


it's dangerous,
this hold that you've got on me.
it's strange,
i don't want you to ever leave.
without knowing much,
i'm still better than you.
without the wrinkles,
i'm still wiser than you.
even if you were to apologise again
i would wish worse onto you.
i guess i am upset.
oh well.
no matter how unprepared
it's the hurt people that hurt people.
we're all learning and there's always someone else to fill the gaps.

it's okay to be scared, emotional and ask questions.
it's not okay to be crass, cruel and mannerless.
two ears to hear and one mouth to speak when necessary.
a mind to think and consider the words you're hearing.

it's the hurt people that hurt people
and it's even more so those that can't listen to the words they don't want to hear.

i would be embarrassed if i was that harsh.
i thank God for my demeanor.
then you'll have the nerve to ask me why i'm feeling this way.
your heart might beat another ten million times before i get the chance to say,
it's because i needed you.

i've always needed you more than you needed me.
but
you were only there when you had no where else to be.
at
times you tried to make it better,
bu
t it was always like that.
you did so well when it didn't matter.

no
w i'm the sensitive one wiping tears hurriedly before you enter the room.
now i'm the difficult one who left too early when everything was good.
Yeah, just close the door on us.
Like that will help.
Yeah, just put them in separate rooms.
Like that will help.

Keep driving wedges between everyone and wonder why no one gets along.
Keep treating me like a dirty secret one moment then your prized possession the moment after.

We'll see if that helps.

it's just frustrating cause even at times like now when i try to turn things around it all still crumbles.
It helps to remember that you have felt similar feelings before.
Each time you made it out alive- regardless of how unprepared or stupid you may have felt.
You don't get to enjoy every single moment of your life.
There is dread, anxiety and regret.
That is life.
As much as it is good, it is bad.
Just overcome.
Like you've always done.
 i kept letting you down 
and when you didn't
come back
i was disappointed.
who did i think i was? ]
i really hate myself right now.