Status: Uni...ew.
Joined: June 1, 2013
Last Seen: 1 day
user id: 361860
Gender: F

This turned into my diary somehow.


I'm still learning new things about myself. I write when I can, I'm sorry for the spam, but not really.

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Quotes by Dudu*

self talk.
been very busy lately, have a class in an hour. 2 tests one after the other. presentations and assignments due soon too. dentist tomorrow, a few hours after the first test. a few hours before another test. busy. busy studying and spending time with family, it's been nice but draining. have holidays coming up soon. still have studying to do but won't need to leave the house for any commitments other than that. i like myself when i'm friendly and working hard. i'm very quiet and awkward sometimes. i dont know if i can fix it at this point. it's never too late. i'm going to be more engaged today. ok. back to studying for now.
for now i'll erase everything that isn't you. 
for now i'll only think beautiful thoughts.
what helps me cope is realising all of life doesn't have to be enjoyed.
life is also waiting. waiting is a part of life.
i don't need to feel like i'm missing out on something just because it hasn't occured to me yet.
or i don't need to beat myself up just because i dread things. most times i just can't wait for it to
be over. waiting for the good parts. waiting to go home. waiting till i can eat my favourite snack.
waiting until a dreadful presentation is over so my heart can finally feel at rest.
waiting a while, then waiting some more. it doesn't have to be so depressiong.
i think i've accepted it as a part of life. it is okay to not want to be in the right now.
it's okay to long for the then, to hang on through waiting it out.
As you look around, you ought to be thinking
'where else on earth...no exactly where on earth am i going to find such a charming soul?'
Oh just give it up, hurry, this seat...i've saved it for you.
the answer to that question, i'll give it to you;
'no where else will you find such charm'
so give it up, hurry, i have something to tell you.
you're so special, no this seat, i've especially saved it
for you. 
Today I'm only looking at you.
Today I will make flowers bloom for you. Today I am only taking care of you.
Today I am on your side. Today you can lean on me.
Today I'll make all your dreams come true.
Today I will only give you reasons to be happy.
From today. 

Just looking at you babe,
puts me in a good mood.
I’m sitting across from you and our eyes lock
I’m not looking away.
Even if you’re tired, make sure you eat breakfast and lunch
then I’ll make sure to compliment you.
I miss you.
I like you...a lot.
I want to hug you a lot.
Love, i guess it’s a bit like love.
Or maybe I just really love you.
                                                                               Zion T - Eat
  "i will live like this just for today.
 Just for today I’ll live like this,
 so what? I can’t do anything.
 Starting from tomorrow I will do my cleaning.
 I’ll start working on the things I left behind.  
 I’ll try to live, I’ll try to do that.
 Though it’s so pathetic,
 oh simply Only for today, i'll be like this."
- 2pm : just for today 
supposed to be a rest day, all i think of is d-day. i know i should be resting. rest when i'm dead rings in my head. supposed to be my rest day. keep pushing it away. gradually get more tired, but it's not the type of "Oh i need to stop and have a rest day" type of tired. Just a "you've kept it up this long and could keep going" type of tired. need to take one already but don't let myself. gotta do it already but im not ready. running out of rest days.
 Can't do it on my own, so you do it on my behalf. You've been loving me for both of us.