Status: Uni...ew.
Joined: June 1, 2013
Last Seen: 3 days
user id: 361860
Gender: F

This turned into my diary somehow.

i have a black dog. 

I'm still learning new things about myself.  I'm sorry for the spam.

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Quotes by Dudu*

i see lightening bolts whenever you speak,
but i'll tell myself that's how spring clouds are meant to be.

i always wanted a reason to like spring.
i'll paint you in all the pink shades you like.
in this sunlight, my tinted window acts as a mirror.
there's a sparrow that visits me this time of year.
he doesn't know he's fighting with his own reflection.

when i'm in a bad mood, the tapping could drive me crazy.
other times though, i want to believe he's checking in on me.
As if God has sent a little sparrow to me. 
A cute, stupid sparrow that knows enough morse code to tell me;

"hang in there".
and time is taking
its sweet time erasing you.
when my feelings were an inconvenience,
but yours were a valid reason to end the conversation.
when talking about what happened feels like a personal attack to you.
in those moments you should look at yourself.
think about why you're so defensive,
how intense it must have been for us.
the reason why i can't accept all of you anymore,
it's written on your face.
2 years on.
"She's over it, you should be too."
But we didn't wrap it up nicely.
all that happened is time passed. 
"If i hurt you then sorry." 
You don't know what for, so don't bother.

i wanna give you all the things i didn't get. i wanna tell you everything i kept to myself. i wanna hold you for as long as i want. without the need for an excuse. i wanna turn, run and sink into you. you'll feel warmer than sunkissed sand.
i'm allowed to make mistakes.
i'm allowed to learn the hard way.
i'm not perfect.
it is all okay.
you only ever noticed the things that didn't matter.
for not knowing me well enough, i hated you.
watching the same scene on repeat.
i realised the other day the reason why it comforts me.
it appeared in a series of flashes.

i'm still searching for something like that.
i want the same story told in a slightly different way. 
to see how someone else saw it all. i'm curious.
to understand how others feel in a similar situation.
to know if my reaction was normal.

harmless fiction where it's all an act.
from the comfort of my bed, i play it again.

it must be the invisible string between us.
i feel it tug at my lips whenever you smile at me.

no i won't make friends with change.
i get a bit nervous. yeah, i get a bit nervous now.
but when it gets hard, i get a little stronger now.
i get a little braver now.
before i give my heart away.

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