LoveExtinguisher

I'm sad because you're not there. I don't ask you to be with me anymore, but I beg you, What I feel is more than love for you, But it's a need for you. If you're not there I don't exist anymore, If we're not one how can we exist? I cannot resolve myself to it. I could never express what I feel for you, Because you cannot designate it with words, But it's with what I feel inside. This inside which grows in me, and that makes me write that. I cannot resolve myself to it. I know that the time we meet is approaching every time a little more, However this needle that shows me the time, is for me a real sword. It hurts me, She tortures me. This is a more serious than an injury, I don't bleed, And yet I feel pain ... So bad ... It is now more than 18 days, Don't have I the right to some compassion? You could read deep within me, yet I cannot. Why? My judgment is he disturbed by my heart? Certainly because at the moment I only listen to it. He tells me that you think of me, He tells me that I should not love you so much, because it is unreasonable, He tells me all these things are true, But I cannot accept them, because I cannot live without you. You who in the darkest moments has brought me light, You made of my frozen heart, a blaze, which now burns a million lights! I don't know when will be the next time I see you, but I know that this time will be a wonderful day because you'll be there. I won't be alone in my heart and in my life anymore. You inspire me all this. I don't know what impression it leaves you, but I have at every line my heart beating. I cannot let the temptation devour me ... She said you do not believe me, if I did not have news from you. Is that you didn't take the time for me, because I'm not worth it. These horrible things that come to my mind are created by the dark wall that divides us. It is a wall of flames, but also of cries. Because to love we need to cry. But I cannot cry, because these flames around me, already burned me. I am consumed and I cannot revive in any other way than speaking, touching, or listening to our heart beat in unison. If I write all this it's because I feel pain, however to love you must feel pain. I want to continue to have pain, to cry ... Because this will only prove how much I love you, a love that has no name.Who cannot be described, but which can only be felt. Come back and make me happy, I pray you, I ask you, I beg you.

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.