MalakDirectioner

Status:
Joined: June 16, 2016
Last Seen: 4 years
Birthday: April 6
user id: 396681
Gender: F

MalakDirectioner's Favorite Quotes

It just feels like I’m suffocating sometimes. My emotions overwhelm me so much and I am just trampled with sadness/anxiety. And I don’t want to be that way. I don’t want to be anxiety ridden over going in a store or being in a group of people. I don’t want to be sad all the time and sometimes I don’t even know why. I just want to feel things like a normal person. I don’t want to be such a mess all the time.
Everyone has that secret, that’s not really a secret at all: it’s a plot twist, for better or worse. It’s something that once shaped us: and once you know someone’s plot twist, you know that you’re in it for life.
You don’t have to apologize for the things you didn’t become
I honestly don’t have any idea on what it’s like to be someone worth fighting for, because the people I used to love gave up without a fight. I don’t know what it feels like to be someone’s priority because I was always the second choice, always an option. All I know is the feeling of loving someone you can’t have. The feeling of loving someone who can’t even name your favorite things, someone who can’t even remember your birthday or even know if you’re sad. All I know is the feeling of loving someone whose heart beats for another. And the painful feeling of treating someone like your own storybook, while to them you’re just a short chapter
i give because i know how it feels to want
I will never be the same, not after you.
I’m a type of tired that sleep couldn’t possibly fix.
I have to remind myself all the time, that being afraid of things going wrong isn’t the way to make things go right.
It’s normal to miss someone when you’re alone and lonely. But missing someone when you’re busy having fun, that’s true affection.
On some nights
I write because eventhough it is quite imbarrasing
it's not as imbarrasing as contemplating suicide
and the humiliation when someone spots me and sighs
not this again

so I write because
yes this again
this feeling of needing to put the pain inside
outside
taking out the trash wherther it is
cutting wrists, writing anything, jumping bridges, blowing bubbles, reading poetry, crying buckets, talking about (it), healing from (it), remembering (anything)
as long as it keeps this stinking mess outside
only for tonight

I need to put the mess outside for tonight
because I want to sleep
I want to sleep because I can't sleep
because my body want to keep hurting itself
while it wants to heal itself
this is the human condition
this is my duality