hi, maria,14, USA. +dancing, fashion design, LAUGHING, little kids, cookies, TRUE LOVE, best friends, sunsets, drawing, instagram, makeup, family, MY IPOD, lifelet your smile change the world but dont let the world change your smilelivin like larry
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And im going to be 100% honest with you, I did just bro fist my computer screen.
sorry for annoying you!
And with my ex, I'm done with talking to him, I'm trying to move on....
I never want to self harm again! I want to make that promise right now.
And I'm just going to miss the baby so much! He turned 3 today...and I've never left him for more than a week!
Well I've been cutting &doing completely stupid things for a very long time:/ I tried to kill myself back in I think it was february of this year...but my ex drove to my house &took the pills out of my hand because I just like froze when I saw him &i couldn't do anything but watch him take them. Then I sat there for a few minutes then he held me while I cried into his arms.. now months later, I still love him even though he broke my heart so many times &i just keep saying I don't anymore.
I've cut myself so many times, I don't even feel it anymore... But I have an extremely weak stomach & when I see blood, I faint.
I actually almost choked to death today:( I was drinking &an ice cube went down my throat &got stuck.. I couldn't breathe &almost passed out but then it finally melted.
I've thought about killing myself so many times...and the sad part is, if I really wanted to, I could succeed any time I want. I just can't leave my baby. Or this wonderful guy I met here on witty that helps me with EVERYTHING. The 2 of them are seriously the only people keeping me alive most of the time! The guy from witty, asked me to promise that I won't kill myself &that I'll stop cutting..I couldn't make that promise the other day. But now, I'm going to. I feel stronger than that. I don't want to do it anymore.
And if I can't cut, I'll use my finger nails &claw my skin open.. Disgusting I know, but it made me feel better for some reason:/
But now I'm just so miserable tonight:/ I felt better earlier, but I'm leaving my baby for 3 weeks on Monday &i won't be able to talk to this amazing guy either. I'm gonna be lost without them!
That would be one very expensive candy bar