"Hello and welcome to the mental health
hotline.."
~If you are obssesive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly
~If you are co dependant, as someone to press 2 for
you
~If you have multiple personalities, 3,4 and 5
~If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you
want. Please stay on the line so we can trace your
call.
~If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be
transferred to the mother ship
~If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little
voice will tell you which number to press
~If you are maniac depreessive, it doesn't matter
which number you press, no one will answer you
~If you are dyslexic, press 6969696969696
~If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the
pound key until a representative comes on
~If you have amnesia, press 9 and state your name
address, telephone number, social security number and
mother's maiden's number
~If you have short term memory loss, press
9If
you have short term memory loss, press
9If
you have short term memory loss, press 9
~If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All
operators are too busy to talk to you
anyway.
♥ if you get it
nmq/f