Jesus*

Status: Just do it.
Joined: August 18, 2014
Last Seen: 5 years
user id: 385707
Location: Brisbane, AU
Gender: M



Ross | Eastwood

I see humans but no humanity


Jesus*'s Favorite Quotes

4 years ago I fell in love. I've never been one for fairytale endings and love at first sight but this girl captivated me instantly. I've had crushes before but seeing her made everything else so insignificant so unimportant. A room full of people and all I could see was her. I didn't want to be anywhere else that night just there with her. All this before I'd even met her. When we introduced ourselves I was even more mesmerized. It was beautiful. A perfect tone. More beautiful than any bird or song or sound. She is perfect to me flawless in every way. And since that night I've felt the exact same about her for four years. We've become great friends and she is a spectacular person a heart of pure gold. She has this thing when she smiles and her eye kinda squints a bit she hates it but I absolutely adore it. I always try to make her smile just so I can see it. But alas in 4 years we've never been anything more than friends. She only sees me as a friend doesn't like me like that. I can hardly blame her. I'm not much to look at. I'm not a star athlete. I'm not rich. I am however kind of awkward but I don't think that counts as a plus. Yeah It hurts. Mostly cause I know that this feeling I have when I think about her, when I see her, when I hear her is ireplacable I'll never feel this way for anyone else. But even though it does bring me pain to love her the way I do I'll never stop. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'd do anything for this girl if it meant I could see her smile even for just a second. I know witty is for quotes I guess but all these feelings I can't help but tell people. She'd know who I am the moment she saw this so if she does. I love you
And even though my heart breaks when I see you two together, I wont tell you I love you, because you are happy and I won't take that away from you.
I have found my sun. It's me. 
I say that not in a self-centered kind of way, but in the way that if I do something, it's for myself, not anyone else.
I am the center of my own universe, not someone else. 

So we ignore eachother,

and pretend the other doesn't exist,
but deep down we both know
it wasn't supposed to end like this.

I WANTED TO WIN THE RACE OF WINNING YOU OVER BUT I WASN'T A GOOD ENOUGH RUNNER BUT HELL I WANTED ME TO BE A PART OF YOU SO I RAN TOO FAST AND TRIPPED AND GOT HURT AND ALL I COULD SEE AT THE END WAS YOU STANDING BACK AND LAUGHING AT ME BECAUSE YOU HAVE DOUBTED ME FROM THE START WHICH I WAS TOO BLIND TO SEE UNTIL NOW
"1. When I walk into CVS, I know exactly where to find the band-aids. Four years of tearing yourself open and you get used to dragging yourself into your nearest drugstore with blood dripping down your sleeve while the employees pretend not to notice and smile at the wall behind you when they ring you up.
2. Swollen lips and sweaty “I love you’s” can make you feel again but god I don’t want to feel anything if it means having to sit there with my throat on fire while my ribs crack and splinter every part of my f*cking body when he stops calling back.
3. I told my mother I wanted to fall in love and she told me she would start planning my funeral.
4. Words get trapped inside my chest and their edges cut into my heart. I wish I could just tell you how much I f*cking miss you. I can’t stop bleeding.
5. My father always told me not to love someone with all of me because they’ll slam the door one night and forget to come home and they will take every fiber of my galactic being and leave me with nothing but the darkness in-between the stars.
6. There are plenty of ways to kill yourself, stick a gun to the back of your throat, fall asleep in the garage with the car on, jump into a river and let the rock in your chest where your heart used to be drag you to the bottom, smoke too many cigarettes, bleed yourself dry. I think the most effective way is kissing someone who’s name you will never be able to say without shaking.
7. You don’t drown in the ocean. You just become part of it. Your hair dissolves into waves, your lips turn to salt, your eyes melt into the sea. They say that drowning is peaceful but when I fell into you water rushed into my ribcage it was just a lot of choking and burning and thrashing and darkness.
8. When I told you I wanted you to f*ck me I didn’t mean f*ck me over.
9. Maybe you should come over. Maybe I should change the locks. I think I love you again.
10. I quit smoking because you could stop my hands from shaking just as well as a pack of cheap cigarettes but you rot my insides even worse."
-My parents keep asking why I haven’t gotten out of bed in two weeks
It blows my mind that after all this time you’ve spent on earth, nobody ever bothered to tell you that your eyes aren’t f***ing brown.


They are copper against honey and sage and when they water they glow, two perfect orbs the same shade as nature after it rains.

You’re not as simple as they wanted you to be.


 




I fell in love with the things you never said.


 
I was in a hospital today and I saw this cute girl with a cast on her leg and my first thought.
This one can't runaway.


          LOVE IS NOT BASED ON THE PHYSICAL
          I AM IN LOVE WITH A GUY WHOM I HAVE NEVER
          TOUCHED, KISSED, OR EVEN HELD HIS HAND DO
          NOT TELL ME THAT MY LOVE FOR HIM IS NOT
          REAL JUST BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER 
          PHYSICALLY TOUCHED HIM OR HE HAS NOT
          PHYSICALLY TOUCHED ME HE HAS TOUCHED 
          MY HEART AND THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS.