NeroticObession

Status:
Joined: December 10, 2009
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 95569

You don't want to know the real me. 
You want to know the sugar-coated lies I'm expected to spit out. 

my life is perfect, a fairytale you could say. 
follow these three simple rules and yours could be too: 

there's a reason 
everything is connected 
t h e r e ' s a w a y 


(i've been doing things in 3's it's very zen) 

& h e a v y h a r t s ; 
[[13 - 11:11 - 12:34:56 - american.apparel.underwear - art - androgyny - Arnold.Palmer - alcohol - adult.swim - adderal - butterflies - Broadway - blue.bears - beads - birds - back2black.toenails - big.hip.bones - bedhead - balloons - broken.glowsticks - burts.bees - canon.rebel.xti - chi's.sweet.home - capital.Y's - chococat - crushin'.fags - cats - cold.sheets - casinos - clubs - clubbing - colour. - cranberry.juice - dirty.English - Disney - dxm - djarum.blacks - Dr.Pepper - dreams - exploring.this.world - e - eyelashes - eyes - evereverafter - eskimo.kisses - exploring - eyelashes - fairytales - farfaraway - fcuk - flasks - fashion - GQ - gr8.hair - grl.coffee - hello.kittY - hearts - hotel.parties - humans - hookahs - i's - jacking - karma - loVe - LA - LONDON - magazines - musical.theater - morning.light - muffins - mYbabYfuck<3 - melatonin - mypandabear - macbooks - magic - make.believe - magazines - NYC - off - photography - prince.charming - princesses - piercings(ears.lip.septum) - psychologists - plaYmaTes - purple - photos - queens - reading - red.wine - romance - red.rabbits.holes - rainbow.mugs - sora - sand - sex - sanrio.animals - sprite.W.grenadine - special.British.u's - shweed - skinnybois - sharp.bones - sleeping - scarfs - tobacco - traveling - tea.parties - the.factory - thunder&lightning - tattoos - tin.foil - umbrellas - vegetarianism - white.harts - white.wine - white.noise - wicked - wieners - wanking - winking - xanax - yesterdayZ.eyeliner - zebras - &batz-maru.]] 
xoxo. 

 
 
 

i carry myself like a model. i speak like a poet.
i see in film frames. but i'm fragile, like glass.

"no one really wants to be a hero anymore, 
WE ALL WANT TO BE THE VICTIMS.

 

modern obsession is blending. brainwashed and crawling out of electric salons,
leaving skin smoldering and orange. poor chameleons, living.. hardly. 
well i’m p e r f e c t l y content translucent.
 
My life is an open magazine and you're all helplessly, shamelessly subscribed. watch me like a tv set. whisper under your breath. i draw lines to cross, and wear clothes to take off. fiction in my bed, fantasies in my head. i live the eternal fairytale, everything is coated in love, love, love. tight skin wrapped around sharp bones. topped with lip gloss and hairspray. i'm flashy, i'm deep. my heart is the centerfold. six page spread, beautiful and dead. snow white skin, i'll make it 'in.'
 
i've found passion in capturing; words, beauty, ideas, moments. my life is a mess of all of them, an absolute mess. they spill from my lips and fingertips. i keep the rest locked away in journals. i simply would rather live my life than sit at a desk and learn about it. i may not know every detail of the respiratory system but i still know how to breathe. and even breathing takes a close second to the circulatory system, my heart can pump blood, as well as compose love. i see my future through a lens. 
 
i'm vegetarian simply because gnawing flesh is completely unattractive. not because it’s trendy, because it’s humane. duh. i’m not afraid to stand out, and i do. i’m not your average teenage heart throb / sweetheart. a common misconception is you must be coldhearted and glamorous to light your name up. but look at me and i’ve done everything with love. i appreciate everything i have. but i still hide, i’m insecure. i do things i’m not proud of. i suffer from arthritis, i’m weak. doctors, nurses, psychologists.. they're my fucking g l a m s q u a d. i mean, the hospitals we're.. fun. but now i've broken out of this cocoon of pills and needles and i'm a beautiful fucking butterfly. so watch me as i spread my wings and soar.
 
advice? stop dreaming, never just 'accept' yourself. create yourself, become who you want to be. don't be scared to change. the truth is i couldn't fit in if i tried. so instead of hiding, i decided to own it. i'm not made for cliques or scenes. for me mediocrity was, and is never an option. i'm no billboard, no stereotype. i'm barely even human.
 
in every single way words can't bring you down. it's so important for me to make it clear, that i am not impressed by arrogant, snobby, pretentious behavior. any form of discrimination makes me sick to my stomach. a kind heart and a beautiful mind are what impress me. it doesn't impress me when you hurt someone. this is for every boy who is scared to be himself, terrified to come home to his own family. alone in this world. wishing he was created a different way. so that he wouldn't have to experience this heartache and loneliness. so he could know what love might feel like. for every confused soul trying to figure out who they're meant to be. for every little girl who walks home from school alone, because she just 'doesn't fit in.' the other girls, don't like her hair. to the last person you called fat. when they're all alone in their bedroom. trying to blend in with the rest of you, being quiet, and that single tear slides down their cheek. i hope you feel accomplished, you've done your job. work a little harder on the next one, maybe instead of blending in further.. they'll disappear.


 
 

Quotes by NeroticObession

Have you ever laid on your bed at night, and just cried? Cried because you’re ugly. Because you’re not good enough. You counted all your flaws from head to toe, to punish and feel worse about yourself. Cried because the comments people blurt out, actually hurt your feelings. Cried because your family is dysfunctional. You don’t want to be a burden, so you bottled it all up. Around people, you’re the happiest ray of sun shine. But nobody knows, that at night when you’re alone, you break down and just cry
--I have.

Your not the same boy i fell in love with. Your changing and its scaring me. We yell more than talk and pretend rather than be real. I want the true you back, before everything happened. I could tell you im in love with you but you wont budge. Maybe this will be our final downfall. Things arnt always what they seem. 

Today is my last official day in high school.
D:

 


I’m through with sentimental quotes, I’m through with sad goodbyes, I’m through with all the pain he gave me. I just hope I’ll be through with him so everything won’t be a big lie.
When i walk in the snow
I want to leave no footprints.

<3

I go to school

all dressed up

to impress you

&&

Your not even there

So im like type of girl that goes to school in
Skinny Jeans
Band Tee's
&&Converse.
But today
Im going to school in
A Dress
&&Ballet Flats.
Why?
To impress him.

too lazy to make it pretty.


   
&& Baby

I love you

09-08-10


& YourThe One I Wanna Marry.

♥♥♥♥

backgrounf

Day 7.

Your favorite song.

Meh, I dont have one.

My boyfriend of 7 months hasn't texted or called me since 5 yesterday.

The worst part? Today is our 7 month.

</3
 

I didnt want this to be pretty. 
]':