I'm really sorry for
upsettting everyone,
I never meant to make the
people I care about worry and feel bad
and feel like they need to be there for me. I like to be
by myself sometimes.. but I mean I guess I understand they care
about me and blah blah blah but I feel bad when you ask me
questions and don't believe me or think that I'm
keeping things from you when I says " I don't
know"... Because I really DON'T know why I do that to
myself; why I make myself sad on purpose and don't know
what I'm thinking and scratch and stab and cut my legs... I
know you don't want it to get worse and I really don't
think it will but maybe it will.. but if it does I'm still
fine arent I? well I don't know if I am.. I'm a little
messed up. haaa jk more than a little... but I don't even
know in what way or how or how my mind works I'm just
complicated and I'm REALLY sorry for making you worry and
feel bad.. but I promise I'm trying to figure it out and
when I do I PROMISE I'll tell you.. maybe not right away
but I will. I think I mainly keep to myself because I don't
want people to worry because they have their own problems and I
shouldn't be added to that list.. And I like keeping
everything "bottled up" because I don't even know
how to explain myself or what to say or when to say it.. But
I'm trying I guess. And thanks for being there for me..
Even though I don't really need it. Well I think I
don't? I don't know... but anyways... I'm sorry for
making you sad and worried and upset... I don't mean too,
this is why I've kept it to myself for so long.. you
don't deserve to be sad over me. And like I said, I'm
really really sorry.
nmf