NoCuttingNoTears

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Joined: August 25, 2011
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 211725

so, this is where i'll share all of my secrets with you ;)

Quotes by NoCuttingNoTears

 


Spinning

She lays in bed at night staring up at the ceiling. Thoughts running through her mind until her head is spinning. She's tired of hurting. She says the pain grows old. Wants to feel something new. Needs the pain to go. Change would be nice for once in this little girl's life. Transformation from depression to happiness. But happiness is to much to ask for. It would just disturb all of this. Emptiness. Her heart is empty. But yet, still she has no room in her heart to let somebody in. She lays awake late late at night and thats when the tears usually stroll down her cheeks. She cries until she is deep in sleep. Sleeping restlessly because even upon sleep in the nightmares waiting for her to close her eyes. Tossing and turning. Crying and fighting. All to wake up and realize its not happening again, it was just a dream. Curled up into a ball, scared of the outside world, she wonders. She tries to pray but she just doesnt know what to say. Dear God, blank. So she cries a little more. Everything will go away with day break and she can fake her smile and go on with life. She wishes her family saw the pain she feels but she still wears that mask. She wishes her family saw the pain that even they cause. She tries living for tomorrow but the pain of today and even yesterday still haunts her. Sometimes she lays awake thinking about everything and she wishes she were never born. Her mind is like a video rewind til that awful nigh and replay over and over again. No stop or pause or fast forward. She's angry and has no one to blame except herself even though its not her fault. She wonders to herself day after day what she did wrong. Trying to get her to talk about what's on her mind. She says no and turns her head to the side. Doesn't know why its so hard to open up. She wishes she could but she cant stand to face the pain. So she ignores the hurt and smiles anyways. She acts like nothing is wrong but even on a good day its hard to hide the pain inside. She lays in bed late at night staring up at the ceiling. Thoughts running through her mind til her head is spinning.

& i know its bad,
i know its wrong

but cutting
makes me feel so strong

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