Ohhey_ilikeyourface

Status:
Joined: August 4, 2012
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 322696
Location: I'm at my computer, silly.
Gender: F
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Quotes by Ohhey_ilikeyourface

 
 
 
I'm just going to lie on the floor until I become attractive.
 
 
 
 
"Heeeyy"
"____ is offline"
Oh I see how it is.
 
 
  Guys: ugh, why do girls care so much about being skinny? it's so annoying.
  Guys: ew fat chicks.
 
 
Whenever I hear someone say,
"I'm not book smart, I'm street smart,"
all I hear is,
"I'm not real smart, I'm imaginary smart."
freakquotes.com
 
 
    So in school today...
    We had a special visitor. He asked the audience, "If you could choose between either having
    the super power to fly or be invisible what would you choose?"
    About six people raised their hands to answer the question.
    He called on this one girl sitting in the back, she was very shy. I almost never heard her talk
    to anyone.
    She stood up and her exact words were:
    "I would choose to have the ability to fly because you don't need a superpower to be invisible."
freakquotes.com  
 
 
Me: *accidentally breaks a toy from the store in front of an employee*
Employee: Ma'am, you need to buy that.
Me: *goes to the front and buys it*
Me: Um, sir, I'd like to return this. It was broken when I bought it.
 

 

 

  

   Her: Would you ever want to change something about me?

   Him: Yes.

   Her: :'(

   Him: Your first name.

   Her: Wait, do you mean my last-

   Him: You heard me, Megatron.

 

 


People are posting like "OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S AUGUST"
I'm like, what tf' did you think came after July? July Jr.?

 

 

   Lil Bro: I like... *slight pause*

   Me: You like wha-

   Lil Bro: BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE...

   Me: Uhh, wha-

   Lil Bro: ALL YOU OTHER BRUTHAS CAN'T DENY...

   Me: Um, Dad-

   Dad: THAT GIRL WALKS IN WITH AN ITTY BITTY WAIST AND A ROUND THING IN YO' FACE, YOU GET...

   Me: Ah, what the hell.

   All of Us: SPRUNG!

   Mom walks in: What the heck is going on?

   Dad: Oh. My. God. Becky. Look at her-

 

          And THAT, my friends, is how my dad got his first b*tchslap.

 
 Other teenagers: adultery, drugs, alcohol.
 Their parents: "Don't do it again."
 Me: doesn't do dishes.
 My parents: "YOU ARE GETTING OUT OF CONTROL YOU
                          ARE TEARING OUR FAMILY APART"