Hey.
I don't reckon anyone will
read this, but I just need to tell someone, everything. I guess the
beginnings a good place to start? Honestly, my story is no where
near tragic, I know I'm really lucky and I am truly grateful,
but nothing prepared me for what would happen. I'm a 12 year
old girl, I live in Lightwater and I am in year 7. I think when I
was four I moved from Twickenham to here, and I've been here
since. My first friend when I moved to the area and joined pre
school (like kindergarten) was a boy called Stanley Brooks. We were
basically inseperable. My mum knew no one in the area, but she and
Stan's mum got along like a house on fire, they became so, so
close. Stan had a little sister called Madeline, but he
couldn't say her name so since then she's been called by
her middle name Betsy. Stan and I moved up to reception and I
remember Keely (his mum) giving birth to a beautiful baby girl
Scarlett. They all became my second family, Stan and I would see
eachother in school, of course, but we saw eachother every moment
after school as well. We grew up together, despite being in the
same class from Reception to year 6 once, I saw more of him than
any other child in my school. He knew me so well, well basically I
used to be angry a fair bit of the time, and had tantrums, which
unluckily Keely got the brunt of, which I have apologised over and
over for. Stan had seen my worst and my best, which was why we were
both delighted to be put int he same class at our first year of
secondary, year 7. He had always been a favourite with the girls
and I swear I cn hand on heart say I've never liked him in that
way. As we joined year seven, eight or nine months ago now, I met
these two amaing, beautiful girls called Saffron and Beth. They
mean the world to me, and Stan and Saffron have been out a couple
of times. Okay, so in January this year I overheard my mum on the
phone to Keely, and my brother Jamie, same age as Betsy, says to
me; "Are the Brook's moving to America?" I shook my
head, I'd heard the conversation good as he had, but mum walked
in and sat down. "Simon has been offered a job interveiw in
New York." Then and there my world flashed before me, they
couldn't. I spoke to Stan the very night, and he has just been
told too. We both cried, this couldn't be happening. It
wasn't for definate, he wasn't moving yet as Simon (his
dad) hadn't even had the interveiw. Stan and I were sworn to
secrecy then, we couldn't tell anyone so we only had eachother
to talk to about it. I cried myself to sleep every single night
until I managed to stop, because I convinced myself he wouldn't
get the job. I think it was around April time when I got off my bus
and walked to Stan's house instead of my own, as told by my
mum, and they were all sat round the table.
"He got the
job." I was
speechless, but I held back the tears, I was just as close to Betsy
as I was to Stan, she was my little sister. The subdued silence
that followed those words was dreadful, I looked from Keely to Stan
to Scarlett to Betsy, and finally to Simon. This was my family,
they were everything to me. As time went on it finally got out, and
the time Stan and I had left was taken up by all the other people
that cared about him at school, but no one would know what I went
through. While all this was going on, I liked this one boy called
Cameron. He has dispraxia, a dad who hits him and friends who put
peer pressure on him. Yeah I know maybe I shouldn't have fallen
for him but I couldn't help it. He liked Saffron, but I was
there for him just as much as I was for Stan, until one day when I
came out of Maths and Stan called me over to him, he told me
Cameron liked me and I couldnt help but smile. A week later
Cameron's dad hit him, and he ran away. I knew he had done it
before, but I just cried. His sister Immi helped me find him down a
motorway and we got him home safely. A couple of weeks before Stan
left, on June 2nd, we had our very first argument. i don't even
know what it was or why, but I remember sat outside English in
pieces. I was crying my eyes out but i pulled myself together and
went into class. Thank god we resolved things, but that night I did
cut myself. I am ashamed, I should be so thankful for everything
but I couldn't bear the thought that in a few weeks I'd be
losing my best friend. The day came, 1st June, and I got Stan's
bus and went to where he was staying, because he had already moved
out of his house. We had such a good day, but the time came to say
our goodbyes. I didn't know what to expect, I didn't think
in a million years that this would happen so I wasn't ready,
Keely took me in her arms and held me for a few minutes, whispering
to me about how I had to stay in contact, and about visiting, and
how much she loved me. I cried my eyes out into her chest, and
eventually let go. I turned to Betsy and put on a smile, which was
soon broken as we cried in eachothers arms, "I love you
Charlotte" She whispered. Stan was stood behind him. I
couldn't even- I ran into his arms and cried so hard until I
had no voice. It was aweful, that moment in his arms. I picked
Scarlett up and spun her around, then we left. That was it, the
last time I would see them in months, maybe years. I walked home
with my mum and brother, with tears in my eyes. That was 22 days
ago. I've cut again a couple of times since then, and
Cameron's helped me through it. Thanks if you did read this,
but idm if you didn't, I just needed to tell
someone.