Passing_Fantasyx

In the silence it became so very clear that you had long ago disappeared & I cursed myself for being surprised that this didn't play like it did in my mind.

Now I do as I please & I lie through my teeth.
Someone might get hurt, but it won't be me.
I should probably feel cheap,
but I just feel free & a little bit empty.

Woke up & wished that I was dead.
With an aching in my head, I lay motionless in bed.
I thought of you & where you'd gone & let the world spin madly on.

I am not worried,
I am not overly concerned with the status of my emotions
Oh, he says, we're changing
But we're always changing
It does not bother me to say this isn't love
Because if you don't want to talk about it, then this isn't love
And I guess I'm going to have to live with that
But, I'm sure there's something in a shade of gray or something in between
And I can always change my name if that's what you mean.

I know he`s living in hell every single day
And so i ask oh god is there some way for me to take his place
And when they say it`s all touch and go i wish i could make it go away
But still you say
Will you think that you`re all alone when no one`s there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away and everything is temporary, rest your head
I`m permanent

I used to pray a God was listening.
I used to make my parents proud.
I was the glue that kept my friends together,
now they don't talk and we don't go out.
I used to know the name of every person I kissed,
now I made this bed and I can't fall asleep in it.

The end result of so many meetings,
late night diners with no one eating.
We sit in corners and sip burnt coffee.
Count the tiles upon the ceiling.
Skip this pretense and cut straight to dying,
but don't beg me to keep your eyes from crying.

He wants an ocean of love;
Im cool with a river
thats when it starts to fall like september
and your hearts cool like december.

Im gonna miss you like a child misses their blankey but im moving on
I have to be a big girl
and big girls [©] they dont cry

Just to get this through to you
I'll just stumble on my words,
never second guess my phrases.
I guess that's why you're learning how to fake this.
I guess that's why I've grown to hate this...