PrincessAtHeart

You are not mine,
to sculpt my arms around  & hold.
Nor do I inhabit the ability to brush my lashes against yours, transforming into a single mold.

You are not mine,
unto whisper thoughts of truth,
or trace your dimples, with hope I will never loose.

Yet I am allowed to mentally create impossible futures,
we will never become able to share. 
I am allowed to picture every inch of your being, from strong calfs & gentle hands, 
to effortless brunette hair.

I am allowed to feauture you in my dreams,
our limbs so gracefully intertwined.
I fantasize you brushing aside strands of my hair,
whispering sweetly,
" you are forever mine. "

I am reminded, 
you are not mine. 
No matter how deeply I long for the warmth of your embrace,
or the tempting image of your luminate face.

I am reminded,
you are not mine.
Your wavy locks and sparkling eyes,
belong to another.
My only wish that I could deservingly hope,
is for you to give all the love you possibly can,
to her.

 I like him.
 He likes her.
 Isn’t that how it always goes?
 But he doesn’t get it. He doesn’t understand.
 I can’t tell my friends how broken & numb I am, they’ll think I only want attention. 
 That’s far from the truth.
 During my depression, he made me feel fuzzy inside, and important.
 He made me feel worth it.
 Knowing he can just throw it all out the door, it hurts.
 The person I thought actually cared about me, can throw me away like that.
 And the worst part is, I’m crazy about him.
 No matter what.
 He’s my first love.
 And I don’t bother to use the word ‘was’, because his feelings don’t change mine.
 But he likes her.
 And I’ll never be worth it.

 i know i just met him….. but i think he could be the lucky one <3

 And yet no one ever knew how depressed I was feeling inside. No one ever saw. If only the knew, if only they understood at the time.

           **vent**
     I hate the fact that I’m moving. And I hate that you don’t care, because I care. I care, I won’t get to see your gorgeous face five days a week. You’re absolutely impossible and I hate you. I. Hate. You. But then there’s half of me holding onto my utterly & hopelessly in-love-wth-you feelings. I don’t care if I haven’t talked to you for a summer. It doesn’t mean I don’t remember the times we did talk; the trillionth of a second where we made contact and you smiled. You actually smiled. And oh god how I adore that amazing smile. I want my feelings to just disappear;evaporate. I don’t want to automatically feel self-concious when ever you walk by. I want to feel just like I do around any other guy, around you. But of course, I don’t. Maybe after I move, I’ll forget about you. As if you just fell off the face of the Earth, or at least in my mind.

Just witnessed my first 1D concert...... **OFFICIALLY IN LOVE<3

And is it bad
That I kinda don't want summer yet–
Just so I could be with you a little longer
Just so I could talk to you one last time.
Honestly–
you didn't even say goodbye

I like you, a lot. 
I can't talk to you, because I freeze up.
I feel insecure and awkward.
I feel like you're so much better than me.
You're funnier,
sweeter,
cuter,
and just better.
I hate the fact that I like you so much.
It would help if you just weren't so amazing.

I used to feel so alone. 
Now I know I have people there, who care for me. 
I love them, I really do,
And I'm thankful.
But sometimes I just want to be alone.
Sometimes I want the drama to go away and live happily ever after.
Then again, perfect lives don't exist. 

*This is just a vent.

I'm tired of people telling me I'm the reason he's like this.
I'm tired of people telling me I made him this way.
Do you honestly think I don't know this?
Do you honestly think my heart doesn't break ever time he's upset?
I wish it wasn't true.
I really do care about it.
I just wish he could really understand that.
I wish he would understand how {amazing} he is.
My only wish?
Happiness- for him.