Rachel97

Status:
Joined: January 8, 2013
Last Seen: 5 years
Birthday: January 8
user id: 345582
Gender: F
i love spending time with friends, family, and animals.
i would rather be at work then anywhere else, but sometimes i do get some time off to relax.  
i would rather go to work then relax. my favorite animals are penguins and farm animals(cows, goats, sheep, horses, dogs, and cats)
im always there for my friends and they are there for me too:)
i hate showing emotions about anything at all, i would rather stay bottled up.
i am 100% single!:) i have one guy that i would like to give it a try with...
im great at listening to people vent about everything and anything, and if i can, i give great advice too...

Quotes by Rachel97

I want to see my baby so bdladly that I just sat outside his work for almost two hours waiting for him to go on his lunch break
My suicidal thoughts are coming back...
About a month ago, I started cutting again. Before that I went two months witghout cutting (note:that is a new record for me) Shortly after I started again, my aunt found out. She went through the same thing as a teenager. She talked me out of cutting for the first time on Sunday. Ever since then she has messaged me every night to make sure I wasnt cutting. And I feel bad, but every night I tell her I didn't cut, even on the nights that I did.  

I
have also been feeling like I shouldn't be alive anymore. Like no one would really miss me. Like I'm nothing but a bother to everyone. I feel the need to cut. It's the one thing that I actualy have control over. Everything else in my life is controled by those around me. My job is controled by my boss. My grades are controled by my teachers. My free time, is no longer free time, because that too is controled by others. I have almost no say in anything that happens in my life anymore. 

I
know this is not a happy post, but just note that I don't expect you to have sympathy for me, I don't expect anyone to care.

I'm in love with my best friend. I'm afraid to tell him how I feel. But I want to be with him, but I'm afraid that if I tell him how I really feel that he won't even want to be freinds anymore

Graduation is two months away. I got accepted to ACM, but I want to join the military. I brought this up to my dad and he flipped out. He doesn't want his youngest daughter joining the military. He is afraid that I'll go overseas to fight, get lonely, and bring back a guy that I should have never met. So once again, I think I am going to give up my dreams to please my father. 
We had something going, but life got in the way.  We started talking again, and things started to look good, then out of nowhere you walk away. Is it something I did? Something I said? I hate feeling so alone and abused. I want things to work in my favor, but maybe what I need is to just move on and forget about you...Here's to hoping this works this time! 
So, there was a blood drive today at school, and of course I donated. I went to class two periods ago, and the only thing I know for sure is that I'm lightheaded and want nothing more than to go home and sleep.
My world doesn't revolve around you. I can live without you in my life, and honestly I feel like my life got better when you walked out of it. 
It's only 7:00 in the morning and i already hae the biggest smile on my face :) this day is only going to get better!! :)