RaiseYourWeapon

Status:
Joined: November 11, 2011
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 236985









I don't know what to say, or how to say it. When I write on a blank piece of paper, I worry about If I'm going to say something stupid, or make myself unclear. Most of the time I do make myself sound unclear, when I speak, I speak with a low voice, I mumble. But when I speak, it's the truth, The god damn truth. I may have no emotions when I speak, But that's my cover, my walls. I say 'iloveyou' coldly with no emotions, but I promise even me speaking those words, is a big thing. I'm not very smart, I have horrible grammer, you think for a Honors student, That I would have perfect grammer, but no I don't. I'm not in Honors for myself, I'm in it for my father. I live my life for my dad. I'm last kid he has left. The last kid to do something with their life. It's hard to succeed when all around you are bad influences. My sisters tell me all their secrets. When they don't know thing about me. No one really knows me. And i guess I'm okay with that. The problem is I'm not quite sure how I'm going to do something with my life. I love music, and reading, but I have no writing skills. I'm good with computers when I want to be. And I sure as hell do not want to follow in my sisters foot steps. I'm going to have to work hard to do something with my life, It might take forever. But I'll figure it out. For now, I just wanna be happy. I don't want to spend every waking moment depressed. I'm going to find my happiness, and I don't mean looking for a soul mate. All I need is my bestfriend. & I'll be happy for the rest of my life. And I have my bestfriend. Hopefully, I'll never lose him. Basics: I'm Natalie, I'm from Astoria, Oregon, Raised in Swartz, Louisiana. Age: 15, 16 on Oct 15. Freshmeat. Clarinet Player. Marching Band Geek. I'm just alittle crazy, That's all. The best friend, Nigel Scott Shide (Nigel9806). Another Bestfriend; Emily Elaine Pocius (WorldOfTheBroken, Or EmilyThatChick). Well. There's nothing left to say. Goodbye.

Quotes by RaiseYourWeapon

Why do I always meet the most amazing people that live in another state, or across the world. I wish they lived closer. I'd be a lot happier. 
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Yea that's how i feel right now,
&that's how i
feel everyday of my effin' life.
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A dream of mine;
We where sitting in my room. Just talking. I was playing with something in my hand, I don't remember what, but you grabed it from me, I grabed your hand an forced you to give it back, but in the moment you took my hand and held it. For no reason at all. And you just started staring at me. Then i woke up, Smiling. My dreams are odd, sometimes they never make sense. But never have I had one that made me wake with a smile.
 
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I'll STOP THE WHOLE WORLD.
I'LL STOP THE WHOLE WORLD.
FROM TURNING INTO A MONSTER, AND EATING US ALIVE,
DON'T YOU EVER WONDER HOW WE SURVIVE?
WELL NOW THAT YOUR GONE
THE WORLD IS OURS
 

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Starting to listen to the old bands I used to love. Gah how I've missed Paramore. 
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 That first hug;
       will be the best moment of my life.
  
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I just really wish;
That for one moment I could feel like I have a purpose;
Like I have a reason to be alive. To feel loved. For just one moment.
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Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
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You.
Bye.
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Waking up; Sucks. Knowing if you check your phone that there's not gonna be a damn thing there. The rest of your day is spent in your room because you have no one to be with, no one to hang out with. Days like this; prove how alone I am. Alone with my stupid thoughts that will drive me insane.
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