Red_Blood_Road

Beauty sleep?

When I wake up, I surely don't look beautiful, I look like a crack wh0re o.O

Mum: You've sat in front of that tv all day. Do something educational... like reading!

*turns subtitles on*

I wonder how disturbing page 69 of 50 shades of grey is! O.o

You don't realise how some songs are soo gross until your parents listen to them with you! O.o

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I wish you were dead,
because I hate you.

Daffodils are yellow,
And daisies are white,
I can't believe I fell for you,
I must have been blind.

Poppies are red,
And lotus' are green,
You made me bled,
As I took the knife from my skin.



Lilies are beautiful,
Just like me,
But you'll always be ugly,
As can be!

How to ruin pickup lines:

1st pickup line:

person number 1. Did you just fart coz you just blew me away! ;)

Person number 2. Sh*t, was it that loud? O.o



2nd pickup line:

1st person: Are those space pants, coz ur azz is out of this world!

2nd person: are you calling me fat? -.-


3rd pickup line:

Person 1: are you tired from running through my dreams last night?

Person 2: yeah, it's really hard getting away from u!


4th pickup line:

person 1: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

Person 2: and if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put F and U together. -.-

The moment when you spend ages on a quote and by mistake you delete it! >.

ON OMEGLE


stranger: hey

Me: hey how's u?

Stranger: good and u?

Me: I'm fine! What's up?

Stranger: my dck! How far have you been? ;)

Me: hmm... no comment and well... not that far, I mean I have been to Spain and all Wbu?

Stranger: no I mean sexually? And i have been all the way ;)

Me: I think Spain is pretty sexual, the guys there are completely sexual with their sexual voices*-*
AND OMG TAKE ME WITH YOU

Stranger: you want to go all the way with me?

Me: HELL YEAH *-**-*-**-*-*

Stranger: where should we start? ;)

Me: OMG WHERE DO YOU RECOMMEND?

Stranger: what about the bedroom?

Me: hmm... I was hoping for a place a little more interesting than that...

Stranger: believe me it's very interesting in there! ;)

Me: ... you've been all the way around the world and that's the most interesting place you've been? :o

Stranger:..... Ermm....

Stranger has disconnected


WOAH I really hit it off with the guys! ;)

REMEMBER when we were small when all we wanted to do was be able to fly?

P.S I still do...

Being told "anything can happen" is not always a good thing!

It can mean everything can happen...good or bad...