ReeseBaybee59

+&andd i absolutely hatee it when
you have to give an embarrasing presentation in health class
with your crush is in the audience
and you have to pee really bad
and you did a half-assed job the night before
and the smartest kid in the school went right before you
and they did the same project as yours 
and none of the info is the samee.

oopsiee... :p
 

and when he turns his back on you, you know where i'll be.
and when he picks that girl over you, you know where i'll be.
and when you find out the rumors are true, you know where i'll be.
and when you finally catch him cheating, you know where i'll be. and when you're looking for a shoulder to cry on, you know where i'll be.
and when you need to get your mind off him, you know where i'll be.
and when he calls you trying to apologize, you know where i'll be.
and when you want revenge, you know where i'll be.

i'll be by your side.

no the party don't  start 'till i walk in

+&and you...
tapped on my head like an adorable little boy.
asked "anybody home?"
just smiled when i answered "not anymore"
took my hand and said "everything's gonna be okay, ya know."
didn't seem to mind when i shook my head and took my hand back.
sat with me in my treehouse all afternoon.
stayed all night, too, sleeping outside 'cause you respect me.
came back up in the morning.
saw me still asleep.
you wrote me a note.
didn't notice when i rolled on top of it.
read a book until i woke up about an hour later.
told me it was only five in the morning.
and you shrugged when i said i wasn't tired anymore.
read me the rest of "the notebook" at the part where you left off.
left to go to football practice at 1:00.
didn't know that i found and read the note.
wrote that you loved me, and wanted me to be your girlfriend.
came back after you showered at 3:30.
found me in the exact same spot.
watched me as i smiled and said "it took you long enough, huh?"
stared at me weirdly for a long time.
said "i didn't think you were ready..."
smiled the biggest smile i've ever seen when i said "well i had to sleep on it before i said yes"
hugged me for a long time and said "clever, but i wish you hadn't made me wait so long"
absolutely and completely melted my heart.

yeahh,,
i still wear your sweatshirt around the house
i still cuddle that teddy bear you won for me on the boardwalk
i still listen to the first song we slow-danced to
i still check my messages first thing when i wake up to see if you texted
i still blast my radio and dance around
i still go to school and do homework and play sports
i still eat and sleep and breathe
i still live.
the only thing that's changed,
is the way i wish that was all still true.

him: whoa whoa whoa.
me: what did i do?
him: it's not what you did.
me: then...?
him: it's what you didn't do that bothers me.
me: and what didn't i do?
him:(holds out his arms) um, hug me goodbye, duh.
<3

smile big
cuz a small one's not worth as much.

hug tight
cuz a l o o s e one doesn't feel like much.

laugh loud
cuz a quiet one won't express as much.

live  happy
cuz a sad one won't mean as much.

+&and just when i thought
i was gonna loose it,
and everyday was a struggle to keep my composure...
you showed up.
you showed off.
and you showed yourself the way to my heart.
you put me back together when i was broken,
and you added your own piece to the mix.
the piece that will forever be in my heart.
the only way it can ever be removed is if i'm broken again.
and i'm truely hoping against that.
<3

let's forget about the old times and focus on what's gonna come.
if you dwell on the past you'll never see what's ahead of you.
and sometimes, what's in your future is way better than what's in your past.
lies. secrets. betrayal. broken hearts. crying & eating chocolate icing while watching the notebook.
who needs that?
the winter dance is what we need to look foward to. 
shopping for a dress and shoes. the right hairstyle and nail color. 
but even though i try my hardest, i can't help thinking what you're gonna wear.
if you're gonna have your hair in the spiked up way that i love, or combed down like a gentlemen.
if you're gonna wear the shoes that make you look taller, or your beat up nike's that i used to wear.
if you see me and think i look pretty...
if the color of my dress matches your tux.
or if you're even going.
i know i shouldn't dewll on the past...
but our past could've been one helluva future.
i still have dreams of what we could've been, and i still want it... bad.
and that's what really gets me.

loving somebody takes alot of energy.
you have to love uncontrolably.
you have to give up alot to that kind of love back.
apparently i didn't give up enough...

but the day i walked into your house to see you sitting there, with that adorable "i'm gonna kiss you now" smile on your face, i melted.

i walked in a little further, unoticed, and refroze.

you had your hands in blonde hair.

you had your arms around an unnaturally skinny waist.

and you had my heart on the floor where i stood.

i gasped. you looked up, expecting your mom to scold you or something.

you saw brown hair fly out the doorway.

you saw the confused face of the blonde girl on your couch.

you let her go and try to figure out who's brown hair you saw.

you saw the text on your phone that said "we're over"

the next day you found all the gifts you once got me in your mailbox.

the necklaces, the braceletts, the teddy bears from the carnival.

that blonde girl went back to her hometown, two states over from where you live.

you'll probably never see her ever again.

you call and call, trying to get me to talk to you.

i don't answer.

monday at school you searched for me, but i didn't want to be found.

finally you caught me at recess and asked me "what the hell happened?"

i just stare as the tears welled up and ran misserably down my cheeks.

you ask again.

i just stare at the ground silently.

you lift my chin up and your hands are ice cold.

i pull away as the bell rings for us to go back inside.

you try to get me to stop and talk to you but i won't.

finally you say "i love you. with all my heart"

that got me to stop. i turned around, the tears still running down my face, and say "liar."

you look confused for a second then composed your face. you say "i've never lied to you before in my life."

i reply "oh really? so your great grandma that was so ill i couldn't come over all weekend really did visit from two states over?"

you said "of course. i told you i didn't lie"

i just laugh and say "so stacy sautner" (his ex girlfriend) "is your ill great grandma that is so sick i couldn't come over all weekend and you forgot to mention you sometimes make out with her on your couch on the night of my birthday?"

you stare wide-eyed. "you were there.. you gasped... your brown hair..."

i let you figure it out.

you step towards me as i step away, shaking my head. "we're over" is all i say.

the rest of the day goes by.

i check my phone, 15 new messages.

i walk home. 23 new messages.

i take a shower. 37 new messages.

i text one single message "42 new messages, one broken heart"