ReignMaker

** HONESTY IS KEY **

Despite the wonderful things we shared in the past 2 years of knowing each other, it's the bad that make you question wheather you want to marry me or not. 
Which altogether to me is a contradiction. Telling someone they mean the world to you and at the same time telling them that they're unsure about you in a 2 year span are reed flags. 

Our biggest worries were external reasons of us not working out in the beginning. i.e family not accepting him 

Now that, that's cleared the problem is me.   
1) You're still young
2) I don't like how you carry yourself
3) It's too soon for weddings
4) I don't like talking about weddings (because of this - but you never did in the first place)
5) I'm unsure about you
6) YOU have to adapt to MY family, what if you don't get along with them
7) To get married is a life long commitment, I'm not sure if I want that with you    

If after 2 years you can't make up your mind

 Can you remain happy with someone you may very well have started considering “the one,” knowing he’s sure you aren’t his one?
 If knowing your boyfriend doesn’t see a future with you now, what would be your reason for ending the relationship eventually?

I hate when you ignore me. 

I hate that I have to go out of my way for them to like me.

I hate myself. 

I hate that I put you first.

I hate that I don't believe we have a future.

I hate that you made it clear we wouldn't earlier in our relationship.

I hate everything.

I hate that I'm hurting right now.

So today, I reached out to his bro, asking a follow up question based on our last conversation. Asking him how his second day of his new job is going.

No response. You would think someone who uses whats app all teh time would response, but nope. I'm getting the cold shoulder. 

I dont really care that much this might turn into an eva situation. But when my bf ignores me too it really gets me fired up. 

I guess the fact that he dumped me does not mean anything, anymore. I have apologized to his bro. Both ppl appreciate it. Bf said he L word me, and that i mean more to him than anything including his business. wow. mission talk to his bro and sis are next

operation get tight with their fam/siblings = proposal

If you’ve gotten this far, you’ve probably unknowingly received her approval, but that doesn’t mean you’re ‘in’ yet. The key to bonding with your future sibling is to build your own relationship with her. Sounds a tad intimidating, I’m sure.


If your future sister is going to be a bridesmaid, she needs a special gift. In my opinion, a personalized present is the easiest way to go. - 


-texting
-shopping
-spa
-mani/pedi
-mini vacation


Find out what her interests are and make an effort to talk about how she spends her free time. Try and carve out some time so you can be alone together. Do an activity, go for a walk/drive. Just something so you can get in a quality conversation from time to time. ---

1] Enquire about her husband, children, work etc.
2] If you think your sister-in-law is a good cook, tell her. And don\'t forget to ask for her recipe.

Here are 10 things to remember as the years go by:

1. Don’t try to impress her.

In the beginning it’s pretty hard to resist. You want to make sure she likes you, but going overboard will only hurt your chances. Instead of showing off your personality and talents, show her how much you love her brother.

2. Learn to ignore things.

She’s going to say and do things that bug you. Knowing when to brush them off is essential to building any relationship.

3. Understand and accept their relationship.

When my only brother got engaged, I got jealous. I love my new sister and she’s the perfect person for my brother, but she also became the leading lady in his life. While I still have an amazing relationship with my sibling, it’s different. I’m no longer his confidant, partner, or best friend—she is. But guess what? I now have a sister—something I’ve always wanted.

My SIL was patient and understanding when it came to my brother and me. She respected what we had and worked on building something special with me. I recommend you give this a shot, too.

4. Learn how to compromise.

The key to any great connection is communication and compromise. You’ll need it with your new husband and your new SIL.

5. Pick your battles.

You won’t always be able to ignore things, but be careful when choosing your battles. If she crosses the line, call her out! Just handle it in a kind and constructive way.

6. Keep them out of your marriage.

This tip is huge—and one you should remind your fiancé about. If he’s close with his siblings, he probably confides in them. But your marriage should be something the two of you work on, and third-party advice isn’t always desired. Your arguments, issues, and intimacy should stay between the two of you. Getting the SIL involved won’t help in the end.

7. She’s an individual—not just another member of his family.

The SIL is just one part of the family. Get to know her on a deep, personal level—you’ll be happy you did.

8. Spend one-on-one time together.

Find things the two of you have in common and use them as a foundation.

9. Think of them as an ally.

She’s a woman—there are things she’ll understand about you that your spouse won’t. She can be the ultimate ally, not only in his family but in your life!

10. Be yourself.

Your fiancé fell in love with you for a reason—she will too! Be yourself and you may just find the sister you never had.



Do you have any pets? What is your favorite thing to do in summer? What is the most annoying book/movie/song you have ever heard? What do you love most in life? I hope you and your future sister become great friends, but don't beat yourself up if she doesn't take to you.

Now operation humilate myself begins.

Where the first time in my life, I have to kiss a** with people who I feel don't and never liked me in the first place. But apparently when we broke up his sister in law was the one who told him to get back with me. 

I must greet everyone with front hugs now when I see them and ask them how they're doing and engage them with conversations. Make eye contact and play with their baby. To me a baby is what a computer is to old people. That is how familiar I am with babies. So you can imagine how awkward that will be. 

I don't know if how I act will come off as genuine, it may come off as me appearing uncomfortable and forced. I need to make my bf happy so I guess I have to suck it up and do it. 

I start by messaging the oldest brother when he lands back to his town.

I guess I always new a problem would arise with 2 out of 3 of his siblings. Because I sensed it. He has a brother who loves debates, and goes against everything I say and articulates very extremely well to the point where I should really stop talking or I'll end up sounding stupid. Really stupid. He loves the sound of hsi own voice. He said he appreciates me texting him a while ago, like reaching out to him. But then I stopped.

He has a sister in law who I feel gives me the shadow of doubt all the time, I remember pointing out the other day trying to engage in a conversation with her, saying mia looks very little (in a mamograph) she was like it's an xray she wasnt born yet (duh I knew that ) I mean how many months is she?What month was it taken?
and she did not respond at all and Im glad this happened infront of everyone. To me I feel like she does not respond. She thinks I dont respond.They're trying to figure out why I am the way I am, and they're quesitioning whether my heart is in the right place. Wheather my intentions are good. 

Solely on the reason they feel extremely disrespected. They sat my bf down and had a chat with him. Little does my bf know I have been having conversations with them. Especially when he leaves me I dont have a choice. 

He has another brother who I kind of see as him, however he has jumped on bored with the pausy on their opinions.


Apparently I don't greet them properly. I didn't know hugging them was absolutely manditory. I guess I have been treating them like friends. Opposed to Aunties. I only hug elders. I realize they're elders too. 

Apparently when his grandma who passed away got me a sweater I did not get up to hug her,  i gave her a side hug. I did not think getting up was mandatory because she was literally sitting right beside me on a seat. Thats what his brother who reminds me of him a little bit said.

Apparently I don't make eye contact with them, or acknowledge that they're present. i don't play with their niece either who is I think is 2. Literally because I'm not familiar with kids, I dont have any babies in my family the only one I have is scared of me because my brother taught him I'm the scary aunt. Yeah. So I don't engage with her and because I don't engage with her thats a big problem. 

Good Update:

We're talking again. His grandma is in ICU (intensive care unit) because she's really not doing well. I told him to lie to her and tell her we're getting married, because that will excite her and made her get better soon. She really wants him getting married soon.

Today after we started talking, I started to see again why we're together. He admit he'd hate the idea of me ignoring him and being busy all the time. I'm the only person he talks to other than family, I'm his closest friend.

Today the good memories come back, When he used to surprise me with raspberry macaroons at work, or raspberry Godiva chocolate because he knew it was my favorite. Plus it always made my day. There were no goodbyes without a hug. Every hello was with a hug. We'd be at restaurants with me talking about anything, because I always have something to talk about! and he'd sit there listen, attentively. We'd be laughing at things. 

We  are all smiles when we are together, with not a problem in the world in mind. We really enjoy the present when we are together, no past thoughts or future thoughts. Time is a valuable, as the pendulum swings. There is no better way I could possibly spend it. 

I get to see him tomorrow. I'm looking forward to this.

I suppose- he's told me he loves me once, while hugging me why didn't he look me in the eyes and say it the way my ex did. I said it back after thinking about what I just heard. 

I got lost once in a place literally full of a bad crowd, and he dropped me home. Random kind act. Its raining, he makes me take the skytrain. Because it's too dangerous, doesn't call to ask if I'm doing okay, whether I made it home after he gets home nothing. I get home at 11:20. When I was dropped off on the sktrain at 10.

We don't discuss my occupation anymore, it's a thing of the past. My parents have met him, I've met his. Even been to his house dozens of times. Everyone including me is saying lets get married. He. He told me he's used to being the baby of the family. That's why he doesn't rush. I ask my gut right now why he does not discuss marriage or give me a date like normal couples do. He is unsure.

Why doesn't he text me the way I text him constantly. If things don't work out with him, the fact that my parents are involved now - they're going to end up finding somoen for me because they're going to think that I'm not good at it. What happens to him, will happen to him after that it can't be any of my concern.

I don't want to hurt myself again, I'm hurting now. Questioning weather this is a real relationship, does he love me if so? why doesn't he look me in the eyes, why doesn't he talk about marriage, why when i bring up marriage he gets so f'n weird. 

Why all of a sudden is he saying that I'm perfect appearance wise when before he used to say 24 inch waist is ideal, he straight up said 2 days ago on the phone i need to do something about my acne and stop eating junk food. 

As of now, I'm talking to him less and less everyday.  It's his turn to make things right. I'm sick of trying. If he turns out to be a douche, hell every guy on the planet is a douche. Period. So whoever I end up with will be no better than him. Life. 

I told him today I'm not mad, why would I be. He said he doesn't know. *Munwhre bells are ringing*

I'm 23 now, still no ring on my finger. No career either so. hmm. I'm not that pretty right now either, so I might as well work on that while I'm ignoring him.

I won't be posting our picures on instagram anymore. I'm just going to make us a separate account. on ig