Sad_Alone_Hopeless

• click to see this quote •

Why do you have to make this so hard for me?
Have i not made my point clear?
Its not as if i have been through enough already ok.
I get that i have hurt alot of people.
And i am ever so sorry.
I understand i have caused many broken hearts.
I get that no one likes me. 
Its me against this f***ked up world!!!
And just in caes you are wondering,
YES, i am over it.
YES, i am done with this.
YES, i am so terribly sorry.
YES, i hate myself.
YES, i would give my life up for him to come back.

NOT THAT YOU WOULD GIVE A S**T ANYWAY!!!!!! </3

Everybody tells me that before i can move foward and forgive HIM, i must learn to look past the "mistake" i made and learn to forgive and love myself again....

Looks like im going to be here forever... </3

Everybody has that ONE person who they can tell everything to.
Everybody has that ONE person who they trust with their life.
Everybody has that ONE person who turns the darkest of their days into something magical.
Everybody has that ONE person who catches them when they fall.
Everybody has that ONE person who has unconditional love for them...


Thats everybody except for me </3 

• click to see this quote •

Dont put your son through what you went through. I know it still pains you, not knowing who your father is. But dont you dare walk away from you own son. Dont you dare. Man up. You had this child, now dont let him grow up wondering who his father is. You are better than that. Come on.

To my nephew who i have never met,

Hey my baby boy, i know you have only been on this cruel cruel earth for 7 weeks, but already you have been through so much. I wish i could see you Lucas, i really really want to, but daddy and mummy dont like aunty and they wont let me see you. But hey, its ok hun, we will met up one day! And you can tell me all about how much you have learnt and show me all the cool things mummy and daddy have taught you! Im really sorry my baby boy about what daddy has done. He still loves yoou my sweetie. He really does, but he is just having some time away. Sometimes daddies cant handle the hard stuff and he just needs time bubbah. He will come around though. You will grow up with a daddy, i will make sure of it. Did you know that your daddy doesnt know his daddy. He always wanted to know but his mummy refuses to tell him and he hurts alot from that. You daddy has had a really hard life sweetheart, but i promise you i wont let him make your life hell. I promise you. I love you so much my baby boy and i want you to know that i want you, but your mummy and daddy dont want me to see you. They think i am bad. Maybe i am? Im not sure. But i just want you to remember that somewhere in this big big world, you have an aunty who would give the world to see your beautiful eyes!

I love you baby,
Aunty Jess xox

Im a failure, not a success.
Im ugly, not beautiful.
Im stupid, not smart.
Im nasty, not kind.
Im upset, not happy.
Im weak, not strong.
Im alive but not living.
 

Dont tell me im beautiful, because im not. Dont think you know me, because you dont. Dont say your sorry, because you aren't. Dont tell me things will get better, because they never have and never will.