♥ ♥♥
Julie,
I would have to say, I miss you
most (no offense to anyone else I wrote to). We
were like sisters. We were inseparable. I
trusted you so much. And I broke that trust. And I can never
truly forgive myself for that. But I'm sorry for
not trying harder. For not explaining. For not
apologizing like I really should have. I'm sorry
for saying things in vain. I'm sorry for letting
boys come between us. Boys, for heaven's sakes. It
is so. fudging. stupid when I look back on it. I mean,
first off, that one tall person wasn't even worth the
trouble. He was the one who was playing with my
emotions, and stringing us both along. You weren't
the problem, even though I tried to say you were because I
was stupid and I liked him so I made excuses for him.
Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I just
can't even get over how stupid the whole thing is.
And then I didn't even try to make things right, or
fix things, or try to talk to you. I was just like,
"Okay, I'm gonna sit here and feel sorry for myself
and blame my problems on everyone else." Stew. Freaking.
Pid. I mentally kick myself when I think about it and
know that I let a beautiful friendship and a beautiful person
go. And I know today you said that people are mad that
we're being "civil," but I don't want to be
civil. I want things to be back to how they were.
I want to be able to confide in you and take a million
stupid pictures with you and just be silly.
I want you to be my best
friend
again.
nmf/nmq ♥♥♥
♥ ♥♥
Danielle,
So yeah, kinda awkward to be
writing to you. I haven't talked to you since almost a
year? But I do feel like there are things that I should
apologize for. I'm sorry for being such a female
dog to you. I was just so upset. I thought I
loved him. Thought. I was so upset that 7 months had
gone to waste. I was upset that he was going to throw
it all away for you. I was upset that you were allowing
it. But in reality, I was the most upset with myself
for having such an ultimately meaningless realtionship and
not realizing it for so long. But I don't hate you,
by no means, not even close. I respect you.
He was not the one for me. And he makes
you so happy. I respect that, and I am happy that you
guys have found something so rare at such a young age.
I know you don't particularly like me, and will
probably hate me for saying this too, but being
in both yours and Lauren's position now, I see why you
did what you did. It's a hard position to be in,
equally as hard as it was for me to be in the position that I
was with you. I guess I'm not asking for you to
forgive me or anything, I know this apology is probably
meaningless to you and is about one year too late, but I just
wanted to say these things. And I didn't just realize
this either, it just took me this long to finally say
it.
nmf/nmq ♥♥♥