GkbfI'm having nightmares again. Bad ones. :/ like Idk. I was just... Alone. I had no one, knew no one, WAS no one. Simply a being, walking alone in an empty shell with what is left of my mind. I kind of liked it. It was a simple bliss. There were no feelings or emotion. It was.... Insanity. That's what it feels like. A constant, empty feeling. Or lack of one, really. Just a silence. In your head. You know that little voice you hear? Your conscience? That is gone. Just an emptiness. Quiet, peaceful emptiness. I every once in awhile call into that state. I like it. Sometimes I wish that I was insane. It'd be so much easier. On everyone. My friends could continue with their lives without worry if me, I wouldn't have to live with it all. I'd be alive and safe from myself. A perfect situation. Anyway, message me later
You've seen how I can get. Those really weird moods I get into, I'm slipping. Slowly but surely, I'm falling into insanity. And if I do, you don't worry. People will watch me. I won't hurt. Nobody hurts. Everybody wins.
Marriage is unlikely, kids hate me, I'm Fkin stupid, my friends are amazing and I don't deserve them and life is terrible. What is the point of being alive if you're never really living?
Nobody wants to put up with my sh/t. Which is why Nobody would marry me. I am very stupid, look at my grades and yea,y friend are here which further proves my point: I don't deserve you guys.
Because we're 14/15. Our lives are in constant motion. We don't have the time to actually feel. To really care. (Ps how does my profile picture look? JW)
Well if I'm gonna die I at least wanna try to be not be ugly. And as for having a long time, you'll eventually forget. You'll graduate. Get a great career. Settle down. Every once in awhile, you'll think of the girl in the casket and remember. How you used to be close to her, how you were the person she last talked to. You'll feel sad but like I said, your life won't stop moving just because mine stopped.
Because you'll get through this. If you die now then you lose and it's game over. Don't you want to win? Don't you want to be happy? You can't be happy if you die.
But It doesn't feel right to walk. Or speak. Or breathe. Or laugh. Or just to be alive. On the rare occasions I feel true happiness, it's amazing. A beautiful warmth that I can never get enough of. Butt that only happens rarely.... I jut. Idk. Nothing feels okay anymore
Lol probably not. Still not gonna sleep. I have music and Witty. Hey you should look up this band Flyleaf. FKN amazing. Especially the song fire fire. *intentional subject change*
lol i've been drawing for years and you said you've only been drawing for a few weeks, it wouldn't be fair to compare us. But from what i can see you're really good already. You have nice lines and good proportioning.
lol xD Maybe a teensy bit upsetting and yeah, a little opinionated. I try not to shove them down peoples throats but sometimes i get a little out of hand.
I drew chibi of shiki too. He's such an adorable little murder :3 haha And I'm watching Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. It's soooooooooooooooooooo sad. :o
Who cares about hope? Everyone. Even you, deny or not. Hope is not religion, nor fantasy. It's goals, achievements, faith in your ability, the truth of another day. Things don't get better because you refuse to try, you are so content on wallowing in pride and self-pity. Are you just some overly-cynical teenager who sits at a computer, shunning strangers and igniting pointless arguments - letting all the good things in life go to waste? Because now you just aggravate me, by sounding like those overdramatic teens. I may not know the story behind your outlook, but are you giving yourself a chance? Did you ever?
I will agree with you on that one note though, wanting things we cannot have. Needing things - we all can have and that should suffice.
You call it weakness - I call it strength. It may be real, or it may be imaginary. But believe me when I say that I have seen it make people grow into strong individuals. And progress matters to me, above all. If anything, doubt and faithlessness is weakness. You need to realize that life is worthless until you give it purpose.
Thank you for being more intelligent than the majority of the human race. Congrats on having a higher level of intelligence as well.
Alright, byee xx
that is so I'm gonna
say no. haha
I will agree with you on that one note though, wanting things we cannot have. Needing things - we all can have and that should suffice.
You call it weakness - I call it strength. It may be real, or it may be imaginary. But believe me when I say that I have seen it make people grow into strong individuals. And progress matters to me, above all. If anything, doubt and faithlessness is weakness. You need to realize that life is worthless until you give it purpose.