~ Please read til the end
It'll mean so much to me. I've struggled with this for
years now and I don't know what to do. Who should I go to for
Have you ever felt like this life wasn't destined for you? Like
you were meant to be like the main character in a movie: once in a
lifetime. Some sort of miracle even. You were meant to be special.
But there was only so much you could do in reality. In truth, the
only fun people ever get is going out and doing drugs. Partying.
No that isn't me at all. I feel like I was destined for
And so my obsession began.
Please don't laugh. This is all 100%
- I watched Teen Titans when I was little,
but I never understood Terra's character or anything at all
about her. So one day I looked it up. I saw the first episode she
ever appeared in, and by the end, I had shivers up my spine. I
still remember them. I swear it. I thought she was just like me. So
I got hooked. I saw every episode with even the slightest mention
of her name, I understood completely. And now I've realized how
goddammed stupid I've been all this time, because I
actually convinced myself that one day out of the blue, I'll
get superpowers. That I'll be just like her. That I am
And so it began. With every depressing moment in my life, or every
resurfacing of my depressing and lonely past, I became suicidal. I
wanted to go psycho
and punch the
and kick and scream, and I felt that one day, my eyes
will light up and my superpowers will take control like Terra's
superpowers did to her. Every time I felt depressed, her
memory seeps into my brain. I calm down. I
relax. I have hope to carry on again to see new days. And my trust
in her deepens. It's like I gave my soul to her.
But when I'm not a teenager anymore, or when I finally get the
idea that superpowers are not f*ckng real
I'll be depressed again, and my depression would probably be
worse then it's ever been.
I know. It all sounds like some My Strange Addiction
episode, but there's more. A lot more. She's started
appearing in my dreams and people say I look/remind them of her
too. I get so angry and jealus whenever I see someone who looks
more like her than I do (even though I have brown hair and brown
TRUST ME. I could ramble on and on for days about this topic. Who
should I see? Would a therapist help, or do I need any special
pills or anything?