A male celebrity
can literally beat his girlfriend half to death
and still have a successful career A female celebrity can gain a few pounds and she's
and ridiculed by thousands of people over many different
I'm fine with gay
people as long as they don't make out in front of me.
I'm fine with straight people as long as they don't make
out in front of me. Stop making out in front of me. It makes me
i wanna audition for all the ugly roles
in movies because if you get the part, you're in a move which
is pretty cool, but if you don't get the part it means that
you're not ugly enough for it which is also cool.
I passed a real gentleman in Boston a few weeks ago. Dude (into cellphone): I'M GOING TO BREAK
YOUR F//CKING JAW. THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU, DO YOU HEAR ME? YOUR
F//CKING JAW. I'M GONNA BREAK--hold on, give me a second.
There's a lady walking by.