ScratchNSniffStickers

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Joined: June 15, 2011
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 183595
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Quotes by ScratchNSniffStickers



Things to do at Walmart: 
when the manager comes over the intercom, lay down in the fetal position and scream,
"AHHHHHH THE VOICES ARE BACK!"


My horse went crazy I fell off got my foot stuck
in the stirrup and hung on for dear life.

Thankfully the Walmart greeter unplugged
the ride before I got seriously hurt!

 



Man:T-G-I-F, woman:S-H-I-T,
man (confused):T-G-I-F, woman (slowly):S-H-I-T
man:T-G-I-F means Thank God It's Friday;
woman giggles: Sorry Honey It's Thursday!


 

 

There is a phone number on the back of credit cards 

that
says call if card is lost 
or stolen.

If it's lost or stolen
HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW THE NUMBER?!

IT'S GONE!! 
 

 

 

 

JB=Jacob Black;
the buff and hot werewolf, not to be confused with
JB=Justin Beiber;
the ugly boy with the voice of an-8-year old girl.


nmf

 


 

 

Sarcasm is your best defense against  stupid.

A really big stick is a close 2nd.


OMG i just found out  something that will BLOW YOUR MIND!!!
 I was born ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!

 



Anyone who says "nothing is impossible"
has obviously never tried to staple jello to a tree.



I'm noclumsy.\

It's just that the floor hates me,

tables and chairs attack me,


and the walls just get in the way
 

~Wiz Khalifa

~Wiz Khalifa



I got pulled over today, the deputy walked up and said "PAPERS" 
 and i yelled scissors i win!
She made me get out of the car and do a bunch of tests.