My horse went crazy I fell off got my foot stuck in the stirrup and hung on for dear life. Thankfully the Walmart greeter unplugged the ride before I got seriously hurt!
Man:T-G-I-F, woman:S-H-I-T, man (confused):T-G-I-F, woman (slowly):S-H-I-T man:T-G-I-F means Thank God It's Friday; woman giggles: Sorry Honey It's Thursday!
JB=Jacob Black; the buff and hot werewolf, not to be confused with JB=Justin Beiber; the ugly boy with the voice of an-8-year old girl.
nmf
Sarcasm is your best defense against stupid.
A really big stick is a close 2nd.
OMG i just found out something that will BLOW YOUR MIND!!! I was born ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!
Anyone who says "nothing is impossible" has obviously never tried to staple jello to a tree.
It's just that the floor hates me, tables and chairs attack me, and the walls just get in the way
~Wiz Khalifa
I got pulled over today, the deputy walked up and said "PAPERS" and i yelled scissors i win! She made me get out of the car and do a bunch of tests.