SecretKeeper39

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Joined: July 7, 2011
Last Seen: 7 years
user id: 191653
Hello Beautiful(:
 Well, I don't even know where to begin. 14, I'm an average teenager. I stay up too late, love too easily, fall to often, and hangout with my friends every and any chance I get. I love softball, I play on a travel year-round team. I get all A's and I am taking honors courses. Because of my wonderful mother...who forces me...I am involved in drama, and do the different plays my school puts on even though I suck some serious butt. I also do chorus, but thats something I somewhat enjoy. I love texting soo hmu(: People say I'm fairlyy nice..and funny...so yeahh...AND my name is Jennie;)
 
  Well...I am just confused right now. Even the most composed people, break down
  
Never let the fear of striking out,
keep you from playing the game


Tough times never last, but tough people do

Quotes by SecretKeeper39







I don't know

What to say and what to do
>>I'm falling apart all because<<


OF YOU.

 

 

Never good enough for anyone 

The rain pounds my window and I peer out, trying to strain my neck and veiw the end of the driveway, because that is my only chance of seeing him.
I can't believe I fell for his lies. or his eyes.
He is amazing but he wants nothing to do with me anymore.
I turn my head, and try to stop him from running through my thoughts.
I cant though.
The kiss runs my mind a billion times a day. His velvet lips gently brushing mine, then he whispered.."You're beautiful, but I have a girlfriend"
Drops of sadness now fall as I remember that memory.
That was last summer.
All summer he led me on, telling me how I was perfect, lovely, and everything he needed and wanted.
Then after three months of summer, he kissed me for the 13th time, and told me about his girlfriend of 2 years.
Her name is Emma.
Out of the corner of my eye, I spy him.
Cargo shorts and a green v-neck to match his eyes.
Brown hair falling perfectly in his face.
My heart lusts for him even though I know it is wrong.
It is going to be a hard summer. He is here and so am I.
I must remember he played me like a game of baseball.
He is an ace baseball player.
Every summer for as long as i can remember we have played together, swam together, laughed together.Everything. together.
My phone goes off and I look down reading my text,
"Hey, Jenna. Emma and I broke up 2 months ago. I apoligize for what happened last summer. I love you, really. I have since I was 6. Come outside and kiss me in the pouring rain babydoll. please. You can sleep in my arms under the stars. You must be tired after running though my thoughts for 11 years. Please Jenna."
He thinks everything is okay now.
Is it? Is it possible?
Hearing a ting pounce from my window, I look.
Lucas is throwing rocks at my window, it is pouring rain.
I go outside.
Even if my heart will break again.





_not making it a story. But i felt like writing a little.

 

Love Never Dies, Right?

Chapter 12

"Landon! Please wait!" Shouts a coive behind me.
Mrs. Chant, of course.
I had stormed out of the room, running for dear life.
Running from my life.
Just plain running.
My mind can only process so much at one time.
Anna gets hurt, the Nightmare, Abby, all of this in one day...
Why..Why..why?
Out of breath, I fall to the ground give up.
I'm in the middle of an intense game, a game I don't want to be playing.
"Landon, can we talk?" She found me. Mrs. Chant.
Those words scare me...'Can we talk?'...it has so many meanings. Both good and bad.
Everything has so many different meanings.
"Well, honey, Anna is stable again. We all can see her. But like the doctor had said, the memory loss is devestating..But she is okay and thats what matters"
I only nod.
and nod again.
This is good, she will be okay.
"Also, I lied to you. Abby's body...technically was never found. We found a body, about the right size and shape...but it was so...torn up..." She pauses. here comes the tears. "No DNA could be found.We just accepted the body belonged to her, we moved on instead of living in the pain. You need to, too."
What. how did they just give up?
Abby could be ou there, somewhere, a 15 year old girl. Who has been gone for 10 years.
"How! how can you be satisfied with not knowing. She could be out there..! Alive, without her family."
Stumbling over my words, I struggle to look her in the eyes.
Quietly, I heard her. She is sniffling, attempting, and failing, to hold back her tears.
I regret what I had said.
This is horrible.
"Landon, I don't know." Crying she leaves.
I'm alone.
Literally, and mentally.
The hallway is empty; I st alone with the color lacking walls.
I wish they were a brilliant shade of red.
My mind and thoughts, slowly, leave me.
I feel like this is just a dream.
A bad fathomless dream.
But it is not.
As a zombie would, I arise, walking, well in my case, stumbling...never felt this strange.
"Landon, hey...son" My dad.
I turn to face them.
"We're heading home. It's 9:45, the Chants are staying all night, you may too." My mother.
I nod, and move away, distance begins to seperate me from my parents, and the rest of the world.
Behind me I hear my mother whipser
"He is so broken hearted. Hopefully he gets better."
whatever.
Of course I'm not okay.
I begin to search for Anna's room..




 

Love Never Dies, Right?

Chapter 11

I can't believe my ears. How is this possible?
She never mentioned it!
My thoughts bang against my skull, pleading for a way out.
ba bum ba ba bum
My head and heart beat together in time I can't catch my own breathe.
With everything going on in my life, I finally get some sleep.
+++
There she is. How perfect she looks.
In a stunning red dress. Brown curls bouncing. 
Everything is okay.
The sun suddenly fades from yellow to a crimson blood red.
Her figure turns dark, a black dress appears on her; taking the place of the red.
Dark makeup now is running down her face. All over her beautiful face.
Then, suddenly, a dark hooded creature with claws appears and approaches my beautiful Anna.
A resounding scream breaks the silence of the air.
Slowly, the claws move swiftly and she pulls the hood off, revealing a gorgeous, yet much scarier, version of Anna.
But instead of stunning brown eyes, she has red eyes.
Now the red eyed creature claws at Anna screaming
"Why did you let him take me? WHY?"
The creature was Abby.
"It should have been you!" The words repeat again and again.
What if Anna had been the one taken? Not Abby?
MY life would be different. So different.
+++
I awake in a cold sweat.
Concerned faces surrond me.
Andy's small arms are flung around my neck and his voice squeaks
"I'm so glad you are awake! AND okay!! I was not sure cause you was screaming!"
Sitting up even further, I look Mr. Mrs. Chant, Andy, and my mother and father in the eyes.
"Landon! I'm so sorry!" My mother coos.
"Son, I know it's hard." My father tries.
None of this takes the horrific images from my head.

Love Never Dies, Right?

Chapter 9

With his parents returning to the room, Andy flies from my lap into his father's arms.
Silence draps the world for multiple minutes for misery.
No one expected bright eyed, honor student, field hockey and softball star, Anna Chant to be at this state.
In this condition.
In the silence, I hear a faint moan. But I ignore it, I'm going crazy.
Playing with my thumbs, I try to distract myself.
I hear it again...a light moan.
Mrs. Chant moves to her daughter's wihite bed, and sits on a cushion chair by her side.
Another moan.
And another.
Now, she flinches.
She is stirring into the world of the wake.
Mr. Chant runs through the door and out the hall to get the doctor.
Andy was right there by his side.
With a deep breathe, I take the seat on the opposite side of the bed. Sitting down, I grab my loves icy hand.
"Landon..." Whipsers Mrs. Chant.
Her tone solemn. Her eyes can't hide the pain, no matter how hard she tries.
Her voice makes it obvious too
"When we were in the hallway, the doctor told my husband and I that...Anna...in surgery..kept mumbling your name"
Looking her directly in the eyes, I mumble.
"Thank you"
The hand slowly becomes warm, and the body begins to sit up.
Mrs. Chant breaks into a huge smile.
I do too.
"Ummm...where am I?" Anna's voice says. But for some reason, it doesn't sound exactly like it should?
I knew by the vacant look in her eyes.
Nothing is right.
"Honey, we are at the hospitol..you were in an accident."
Mrs. Chants voice sooths.
Anna responds, her voice sounding very childish
"Mommy who hurt me?"
So innocent, she sounds like a 5 year old.
"Honey, a bad man"
"Oh. did he hurt Anna, too?" escapes ffrom her mouth. Her tone sounds so frightened.
Did she just refer to herself in 3rd person?
I'm so confused?
again, she says..."DID HE HURT ANNA?"
She screams. My ears ache.
Her voice a high childish shrill.
my spine tingles. and I shake.
My back feels electricity through me.
"Honey..." Mrs. Chant tries. "What is your name?"
Tears fall so fast. She sound scared to death.
Obviously I do not understand what is going on.
Andy's small feet pitter patter into the door, followed by Mr. Chant and the doctor.
All 3 pause at the door.
"My name is Abby." Anna says.
AGAIN, the name. I remember the note Anna wrote.
Who is Abby.
Mr. Chant is paralized at the door.
Who is Abby.
The world stops for a second.
Who is Abby. Who is abby who is ABBY
Before I knew it, The Chant family and I are shoved into yet another waiting room.
I look back.
her slop of curls is so stunning.
Her smile is gone, but her lips are perfect.
Her small freckles are perfect.
Her eyes show only confusion.
The door is shut.
but who is Abby?

Love Never Dies, Right?

Chapter 8

Stumbling into the room, I hold my breathe.
Her eyes are closed, her body lay so still; not moving even the slightest flinch.
Her hair a beautiful slop of curls.
Her chest slowly moving up and down.
up and down.
In a perfect rythmic motion.
She looks so stunning. She looks as if he is sleeping.
Dreaming about rainbows, butterflies, and kisses. Or whatever she dreams about.
But
She is in a hospitol bed, barely conscious.
It pains me to see her in this state.
Once again, the doctor speaks.
"Now Anna is in critical condition. You need to understand we will do whatever we can do to ensure the well being of yyour daughter...." He slows and shuffles mutiple yellow papers in his big, manly, hairy hands.
Looking back at us, his electric blue eyes stand out against his weird glasses.
"Now, between all the head trauma, and internal bleeding, we focused on that. Her leg is broken, we are waiting for the swelling to go down before we cast it. We stopped the internal bleeding..."
A sigh of relief comes from Mr. Chant
But the worst is yet to come.
"Mr. and Mrs. Chant, Andy, and Landon, The head trauma..was devestating."
Mrs. Chant, now looks as if the life has been sucked out of her bit by bit. Tears run down, covering her already smugged black makeup. She cant handle all of this, she looks so lost.
She can't handle this one bit, but still, she tries to stay calm.
"If she is okay, there is a 50% chance of survival. She she survives, her memory will be thrown completely off.." He looks up from the papers and directly looks me in the eyes.
I turn away
In fear.
" A 93% chance of permanent memory loss." The doctor finishes.
Andy tugs at my pants and attempts to get my attention.
Looking down at him, my heart breaks.
He is crying, little warm tears.
A 7 year old does not deserve this.
I take a seat on a nearby cushion chair and Andy crawls onto my lap.
My mind ponders this situation.
Permanent memory loss.
She might not remember who I am.
What will I do??
Mr. and Mrs. Chant are talking to the Doctor in the hallway. Andy pulls my ear close to lip little lips and ever so quietly mumbles..
"I'm scared...what does permanently mean?"
His voice shakes. He is so innocent, he doesn't deserve to loss his ONLY sister!
I can't even look into his bright brown eyes, fore I know they are the same as hers.
And I must stay strong, Sallies words resound in my head. "You must stay strong for Andy, he looks up to you. He told me you were his bestest friend and that he wishes you were his brother..."
I speak up.
"My man..Permanent means forever. Like I will love you forever. I will love you permanently. Your parents will love you permanently.
Andy, Anna will love you permanently."
I thought That would make him feel better.
I was wrong.
His brown eyes glare at me with an expression I have never seen before.
His hands claw ever so slightly into my back, I know he doesn't wish to cause me pain, but his nails peirce my skin, I flinch.
Through tears her says.
"She has to remember me, to love me Landy! And she won't remember me!!"
His words break my heart.

 

Love Never Dies, Right?

Chapter 7

The sloppy , more childish handwriting must be from Kindergarden.
It read:
Dear Diary,
Today a super cute boy named Landon in my class talked to me today!! He wanted my red crayon. But I am to shy! I really really REALLY want to talk to him bad. Super bad. I am gonna talk to him. SOON!! I promise!!!!!! I like his eyes. They are pretty.I cant wait for tomarrow!
Love Annabelle.
(Anna)
PS- Red is also, now, my favorite color!!
PSS- I want to marry him. BAD!
PSSS- Maybe he can be my Bestest Friend. I miss Abby.
Wait...my mind catches the last word...Abby?? who is abby?
And I chuckle.
She wanted to marry me! My eyes. My green eyes. She likes them.
I switch sides, with a grin.
WOW! how adorable! I just found this note. I knew all the way back then He was The One. Wow, Landon. I love him. One day I hope I'll be able to look at him in his big green eyes and say..."Landon James Charles, I love you " But that wont ever happen. He will never love me back. He will never think of me like that. I'm just his bestfriend. I should be happy with that. I just wish he could love me back.
Anna.

Tears emerge from my eyes. I wish I could tell her I love her. I wish I could hold her, and love her.
But now..
She might be right.
This might never be able to happen.
Slamming my heands on the wall, hot tears fall, and I dont know what to do.
I need to tell her I love her.
I need to hold her.
Banging against the wall, I sink to the floor; hands over my face.
Suddenly, a doctor emerges with Andy, Mrs. and Mr. Chant.
"She just got out of surgery. You are permitted to go see her...but she is barely stable. And barely responding."
The tall male doctor sounds sad, but this is his job.
Glancing, every Chant has tears flowing from their eyes.
Silently, I follow, scared out of my mind about what I am about to find..


 

Love Never Dies, Right?

Chapter 6

"Landon! I'm so sorry. Please try to act normal. Andy was telling me about how you are his best friend and how he wishes you could be his brother. He looks up to you. Stay strong for him."
Sallie whipsers.
Tears escape from her eyes, also.
Why does this have to be so painful?
Running my hands through my hair, I feel my phone buzz and my ringtone sounds.
"Landon Its Mrs. Chant, we pulled into the hospitol. Be there in 5."
Her voice is sped, hurried. I barely hear her say "Thanks."
Then she suts the line off.
It's 4:30pm, an hour and a half ago I was with Dane and Connor.
Everything had been normal.
Can we go back in time? Please?
I have 5 unread messages.
3 from my parents.
Dad: Hey! I'm so sorry. Mrs. Chant called. They are in charge of you until I'm done with work. Love you, son.
Mom: I'm so worried!! You okay?
: Your father and I will be there around 7ish. Love you Landon!
Then one from Dane
:Rematch later?
Obviously Dane hasn't heard what has happened.
Then finally, one from my friend. Jamee.
:Man what's up? I found your bike near the old church, there was blood all over? I just left your bike in ur garage. Cya man. Hope u k.
People don't know what has happened to Anna.
Suddenly, I hear familar voices. Anna's parents.
Mr. Chant is boiling. His tone scares me.
"Let me see my daughter! NOW! Don't you understand you stupid fool!?!?!"
Mrs. Chant is crying.
I approach them and Mrs. Chant wraps her arms around me and tells me just how thankful she is for me.
She is so hurt. So lost.
I'm not used to peppy, amazing Mrs. Chant acting like this.
"Landon, You are like my 2nd son. You know that I love you. Our entire family does." She pauses.
"Anna does too."
Again she ceases in the middle of her sentence.
But this time she reaches into her black leather purse and pulls out a not on lined paper.
Addressed to me.
Slowly I unfold the note. Anna's flawless handwriting.
"I thought you might enjoy it. The first side she wrote before she even said her first words to you, then the other side was a few weeks ago."
Mrs. Chant leaves the room and joins her husband,

Love Never Dies, Right?

Chapter 5

Arriving at the hospital, we are ushered quickly down the hallways, into a small room.
Anna was taken into a different room.
Every wall, hall, and floor, is colorless. A pale, minty green.
I thought this was supposed to be a childrens hospital. Where are the yellows, blues, pinks, bright greens...and reds? Where is the color, pictures, happiness?
They need some red, maybe red walls...Anna would like that.
Andy's jean shorts now are dired, but faded red stains remain. They remind me that this is not a bad dream. His white yankee shirt is also stained with the same red as his shorts.
This is reality.
"Hello! I'm here to keep you boys company! Okay?" A young girl, about 2 years old, says. This woman in some kind of nurse. She seems nice enough.
But my mind cannot focus. Arising, I start pacing around the small room, looking down. The tiles are white, the color of boring paper.
Andy chats happily with Sallie across the room from me. His face, finally, resumes it's normal shade. His brown eyes are nopw happier too. He has her eyes...
When will I see her again? Quickly, even though I stumble slightly on my words, I question Sallie.
"Where is she?"
I must keep my promise to her father.
"Oh...you are so quiet! I almost forgot you were here! Silly me. Your friend will be fine!"
She is so peppy, to the point it makes my stomach churn.
My fists form and I demand an answer.
"I said where is she? Not how WILL she be. where? No hablo espanol? No comprendo? AND I'm not a child. Her parents told me not to let her out of my sight! I will keep that promise if it is the last thing I ever ever do! NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" I shout.
I lost control.
I can't focus not knowing how she is doing.
Andy, on his hands ans knees playing with legos of all colors, shapes and sizes, shifts his head and stares at me. I don't wish to upset him.
Sallie ushers me into the boring hallway and closes the door shut behind her.
Once we are standing in the hallway, she tells me the truth.
Anna is in Intensive Care Unit. No one at all is allowed to see her. Not until she is out of surgery and stable.
I don't believe my ears.
My Anna.
Then she says the worst news I have ever heard.
"She is internally bleeding. She pumptured her spleen, broke her left leg in 3 places, and is still unconscious." She takes a deep breath. "We are not sure she is going to make it, I'm sorry Landon."
Peering through the window, I see Andy playing with other kids his age.
Completely unaware.
He knows nothing.
Tears fall from my eyes.
I'm in h*ll.