I wonder what it's like being 28 and waking up knowing
you're going to ask her to marry you tonight.
I wonder what it's like being 30 and waking up to her gone
for the week on a work trip and having the entire bed to
yourself for the first time in ages so you starfish the
fúck out of it, but somehow drift over to their side
because you already miss them.
I wonder what it's like being 42 and waking up for work
content that the same pair of tired eyes as yesterday, and the
day before that, and for the past 13 years, still look at you
like you have the ability to reverse time and stop the sun from
rising any higher, then you could both stay in bed. You blink,
smile, and kiss her forehead softly as a reply, silently
acknowledging your shared distaste for mornings, but not
apologizing for wanting to wake up to those eyes again
I wonder what it's like being 49 and waking up beside
someone who still makes you nervous when they look at you that
close up in the morning, especially now that you're nearing
50 fully aware of the wrinkles you have and the ones on the
I wonder what it's like being 61 and waking up at 2pm
because you were too sore and sickly to get out of bed that
morning, but when you hear her key in the door after coming
back from the store with some medicine, your favourite soup and
a kiss, it still makes your heart beat fast enough to propel
you off the bed and into her healing arms.
I wonder what it's like being 87 and waking up next to an
undisturbed pillow and an unwrinkled half of the quilt because
she died 2 years ago, peacefully in her sleep. It was just her
time to go.
I wonder what it's like to live life in that much love. And
when you do, I wonder what it's like to lose it to
something as trivial as your body passing through time.
It's heartbreaking that the body can't last as long as
the love between two people. But it's also kind of
beautiful that love transcends physical nature. All we can do
is experience it while it's here and while it
-- A lasting love