SheDreamer

Status:
Joined: March 10, 2012
Last Seen: 1 year
user id: 282597
i'm the sort of girl made up of  a million piece jigsaw puzzle. i have plain and downright ugly colors, but that only makes it easier for you to see the rainbow inside.
im not saying im the sort of girl that needs to be put back together as if she's broken, but i am saying im the sort of girl with a few pieces missing that tries to close up the hole because she's afraid the colors will leak out.
im the sort of girl that likes to inhale starfish and coral because that way, when i die someday, my inside will be beautiful.
im not the sort of girl that craves attention, but i am the sort of girl to take away the microphone and turn the lights off so i when i say something i want you all to hear.
im the sort of girl made of music held together by weeds growing in my cracked concrete exterior.
im the sort of girl who can either be your best friend or your worst enemy- provided you choose to push me away.
and we haven't even touched half my pieces yet...

SheDreamer's Favorite Quotes


sometimes, breathing hurts.


breathe in the pain. feel the secondhand smoke sear your lungs as your eyes water. feel the panic setting into your mind as you realize breathing hurts. feel the toxic air pervade your capillaries as it presses phantom butterfly kisses along your aching jaw line. breathe in the pain.

and know that you are alive.

sometimes it's in these moments when everything else fades away to a soft, fuzzy gray that you become the clearest. you're the sharpest thing in your life and you're not going down with out a fight. you've been here a hundred hundred times before, and everytime you've stood tall. you've allowed the pain to drive you to your knees with your forehead pressed against the wall, and gone from a woman breaking into girl-sized pieces. you've let your first love be the thing that shreds your will to exist, and still you're standing tall. 

come, my dear. breathe in the pain. and know that you are alive.

you've lost a few fights before, and you will lose a few fights again. you really can't win every time. you've never learned, have you? you've heard the phrase "no one loves a loser" too many times. but what you've failed to realize is that no one loves a loser because a loser has lost love. you're not a loser, darling. but you're not a winner, either. you're facing your worst fear: mediocrity. 

you're afraid of standing on the border between success and failure, because a feather-soft touch can knock you over the edge. you're afraid of what youv'e been doing your whole life, aren't you? 

every night, you walk the serrated-knife edge between failure and living. sometimes, you've tripped and you've caught yourself on your bleeding, blistered hands.

you thought you could climb up the sky, steal the sun, and capture it in a jar. but the sun is not made of fireflies, and every wish you've made on it can happen.

you just need to made them happen yourself. "the world is not a wish-granting factory", and neither is it truly what destroys our dreams. it pushes them and pushes them and waits for the dreams to push back.

breathe in the pain. breathe in your dreams. breathe in resolution. 

you are alive.

you are living.

you are dreaming.


The most dangerous time for an abused women is when she leaves. The abuser will try to make her sound to be the problem. He will try to turn people against her. He will make sure that he has a reason she has to communicate with him. He will try to manipulate get and everyone aroumd her that she knows and loves. When he realizes that the " I LOVE YOUS" and the " I AM SORRYS" aren't working it turns to violence. Then he's sorry again and loves you. The hardest part knowing this will happen and knowing YOU HAVE TO GO.... YOU DO NOT HAVE A CHOICE. Some people don't understand that. Knowing you WILL go through this without who was your best amd maybe only friend is a lot of the reason women don't leave. We are victimized by them everyday (in ways we never knew were possible) by both them amd the community. In a way.... It would have been earlier to stay. You know how you are going to be victimized. You can see it coming. When you leave and after you leave.... There is no end to the harassment they inflict on people. Please remember this when you find out someone was victimized. Definitely keep an open mind when you hear a story and put yourself in their shoes as much as possible.
Kelly Clarkson says,
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

I say, "What doesn't kill you will scar and bruise you,
but you will stand up after every battle you lost and continue to fight"
 
 









Even when you felt you weren’t strong enough to survive, somehow you found the strength to survive anyway. What does that say about you other than you are made from the blood of stars, with enough iron in your veins to make ten swords, and the same carbon that makes it impossible to break diamonds?

Not all girls are made of
Sugar and spice and all things nice.
Some are made of witchcraft and wolf
And a little bit of vice.

 
 









The trouble was people so rarely fell out of love all at once. Most of the time, it passed gradually, like grains of sand through an hourglass - in long, painful moments you could only sit by and watch helplessly until, finally, the last grain fell.

And to push the knife a little deeper.
Your words are written in my skin.
...Whoops...

 

I wonder what it's like being 28 and waking up knowing you're going to ask her to marry you tonight.

I wonder what it's like being 30 and waking up to her gone for the week on a work trip and having the entire bed to yourself for the first time in ages so you starfish the fúck out of it, but somehow drift over to their side because you already miss them.

I wonder what it's like being 42 and waking up for work content that the same pair of tired eyes as yesterday, and the day before that, and for the past 13 years, still look at you like you have the ability to reverse time and stop the sun from rising any higher, then you could both stay in bed. You blink, smile, and kiss her forehead softly as a reply, silently acknowledging your shared distaste for mornings, but not apologizing for wanting to wake up to those eyes again tomorrow.


I wonder what it's like being 49 and waking up beside someone who still makes you nervous when they look at you that close up in the morning, especially now that you're nearing 50 fully aware of the wrinkles you have and the ones on the way.


I wonder what it's like being 61 and waking up at 2pm because you were too sore and sickly to get out of bed that morning, but when you hear her key in the door after coming back from the store with some medicine, your favourite soup and a kiss, it still makes your heart beat fast enough to propel you off the bed and into her healing arms.


I wonder what it's like being 87 and waking up next to an undisturbed pillow and an unwrinkled half of the quilt because she died 2 years ago, peacefully in her sleep. It was just her time to go.


I wonder what it's like to live life in that much love. And when you do, I wonder what it's like to lose it to something as trivial as your body passing through time. It's heartbreaking that the body can't last as long as the love between two people. But it's also kind of beautiful that love transcends physical nature. All we can do is experience it while it's here and while it lasts.

-- A lasting love

 

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