SirScotchShots

Status:
Joined: January 16, 2010
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 98799
My Quotes are like a box of chocolates that someone removed all of the delicious filling out of and injected raw ground pork into them and then fed it to young toddlers so they would get sick.
 :P

As everyone on here can tell its clear that i post the best quotes on witty, so become a follower  or you're missing out.

Quotes by SirScotchShots

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
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funny
Everyone is entitled to their own Òpinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
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funny
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. :(
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funny
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
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funny
I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm  drunk!
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funny
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets...  
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funny
A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.
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advice
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
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advice
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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advice
Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some just don't have film.
4 0 SirScotchShots SirScotchShots
advice