SmallFry

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Joined: January 29, 2009
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 65356
 

Quotes by SmallFry


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╭∩╮O.O╭∩╮
 

 

Math
it's nothing 2b2 of.

18 or lower means you're not stupid.

[*] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.
[*] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.
[*] You have ran into a glass/screen door.
[*] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
[*] You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.
total= 5


[] You have ran into a tree.
[*] It IS possible to lick your elbow
[* (i can!)] You just tried to lick your elbow.
[] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm.
[] You just tried to sing them.
[*] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
[*] You have choked on your own spit.
[ ]You have seen the the Matrix and still don't get it.
[*] You didn't notice that in the last question the was spelled twice.
[*] You just looked at it.
[ ]Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde.
[*]People have called you slow.
total so far= 12

[ ] You have accidentally caught something on fire
[*] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek.
[*] You have caught yourself drooling.
[ ] You've fallen asleep in class
[*] If someone says fart you laugh.
[*] You just laughed.
total so far= 16

[*] Sometimes you just stop thinking
[*] You tell a story and forget what you were talking about
[*] People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you
[*]You are often told to use your inside voice.
[*]You use your fingers to do simple math.
total so far= 21...

[*]You have eaten a bug.
[*]You are taking this test when you should be doing something important
[*] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it
[*] You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand or pocket
total so far= 25

[ ] You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't even when you know it won't happen to you.
[*] You break a lot of things.
[*] Your friends know not to use big words around you
[ ] You sometimes tilt your head when you're confused
[*] You have fallen out of your chair before
[*] When you're laying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling
total so far=  30

TOTAL: 30 ummmmmmm damn...
 

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous.

They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are  probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he  would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.

The mother sent the 8 year old in the morning, with the  older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon. The  preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the  younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. The preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?! Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.  The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE is GOD?!"

The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time!" "GOD is missing, and they think WE did it!" 



If you have any kind of accent, its completely normal
Every one else just sounds funny. 


 
. 

Well i was gonna favorite it.....
until you said


fav?

A couple get a divorce and are negotiating the custody of there children.

The wife is thoroughly convincing the judge that the children should go to her, because she carried them for 9 months.

The judge is just about to make up his mind when the husband states,


"Your Honor... if you put a dollar into a coke machine and a coke pops out, does that coke belong to you or the machine?"
How to avoid a speeding ticket

*cop pulls you over*

Cop: Can i see your liscense
You: I dont have one
Cop: Right, can i see the proof of ownership of this car?
You: Its not my car.
Cop: Well where is the owner?
You: I killed him he is in the trunk.

*Cop takes out walkie talkie and call over the commisoner*

Commisoner: Is everything all right sir?
You: Fine thank you.
Commisoner: This officer tells me you stole this car, you killed the owner, and you dont have a liscense. Is this true?
You: No. Heres my liscense and proof of ownership.

*Show him Liscense and proof of ownership*

You: and as you can see


*open trunk*

You: Theres no one in the trunk.

*Commisoner looks confused*
You: I bet he also told you i was speeding.

And thats how you avoid a speeding ticket.