You never expect
it.
It's just background music, something you don't even
notice, and the words and sounds just slip past as you focus on
something else; on your drink, or your friends, or your book,
or your body--
and then, suddenly you hear it.
It's that song. It jumps out at you, traps you in
the memories forced to the front of your conciousness, because
it's--
it's that song
from that time
and the memories fcking hurt, so you immediately cut
off the music or cover your ears or talk so loud you don't
have to listen.
But then you're stuck in the silence with the memories
replaying behind your eyelids, and you will yourself not to
cry.
Deep breaths.
In and out.
How could one song do this to you? (... You know why. It's
because it's not just one song. It's memories
and the person who made them for you, and every emotion they
painted your heart with from then on.)
And the melody and all of it's shadows echo in your
head.
So you excuse yourself, or put on the headphones again, or sit
back and silence yourself.
(... or you quickly scribble down what your feeling -- or say,
write a quote about it because you really need to vent right
this moment --- because you need a quick distraction before you
do something stupid)
and then
(you do something stupid)
you listen to the song,
and let yourself d r o w n in the memories
it makes you
relive.
...oh, you're in my
veins
...and i
---cannot
---get you
....out.