StolenRain

Today's my school dance...
i hope he notices me

Wish me luck

I feel the need to make this list.

Shane: First crush, you were my kindergarten buddy. I miss you but you belong with Maddie now and I hope you guys get married. :)

Thanas: You and I talked a lot in first grade. I guess i thought you were cool. Now I hear your a jerk, good thing I stopped liking you in second grade.

Andrew S: You were different, I guess I liked it. I liked you a lot actually. You seem pretty chill now, whatever though cause i live 400 miles away. 

Josh: I thought you liked me. I guess that's why i liked you but now I heard your a druggie...wow. Thankfully I'm 400 miles away and I liked you in fourth grade.

Tim: I liked you loads, I dunno why anymore. You just seem interesting...I guess? You were younger than me so it was awkward.

Paul: You were one of my hugest crushes. I liked you a lot. I was so stupid though, I obsessed over you. You stared at me lots... I even liked you for a little bit after I moved...

Matt: Oh god... you were the most significant crush I ever had. I actually developed a personality after I met you, you changed me a lot. But in the right way. You were an important person within my growth. I can't get over what happened with us. But we can still be friends.

Andrew C: You were an awkward crush that I forced myself into, to get over Matt. I finally realized my mistake. Now you wont leave me alone. I really hope you get the message, I don't like you.

Ben: I have confused feelings about you. I just really really like talking to you...

Today he goes

"Andrew likes you, you know? I can see it in his eyes."

Me: "Well you know what? i can't stand him. I don't like him. At. All."

"Oh. Thats good"

(please tell me that was hope in your voice)
 

the only reason i cant get over him

is the fact that no matter what has happened between us

he manages to still talk to me like im any other person

and also slips in a compliments here or there.

i just dont know what to do with him.

Mom: "We forgot to buy you flowers this year didnt we?"


Me: "You havent bought me flowers in the last three years"

(That's around 9 concerts/recitals/performances give or take 2)

(oh yeah and thanks for watching this year)

(and thanks for telling me to go wash the dishes, cause i can totally do that with a sinus infection the day after three rehearsals, a bunch of classes, and a performance.)

Every time I come out of my dance performance
all my Mom and Dad can say is

"You took so long to pack your stuff. Hurry up."

"Your blush was messed up. You looked stupid."

"Your arms were too stiff."

I wish just for once they would tell me "Good job."

But this year...they aren't even watching...

</3

I'm in the bathroom of some community college for my dance concert and I'm bawling my eyes out in pain...

and some random college student walks in she blows her nose and looks at me and says "Feel better" and flashes me a smile

even strangers can show kindness

Right now i feel like this


laskdjal;skfj;aoierj;aoksdj;alksjda;sdq
 

According to my friend,

during our 13 hour bus ride from Washington D.C. to Boston

he fell for me

"Julia, you're so obvious, he keeps glancing over at you!"

Why am I so happy? I thought I was over him...apparently not.
 

30 days/30 letters.