TeachMeHowToSmile

 Breathe

Chapter 5:

I grabbed my bag and stuffed my cell phone into it carefully, and headed for the dock. I could feel the flow of nervousness and worry coursing through my whole body. I felt bad for taking out all of my problems and resent on Tanner, and for a second I thought that I would stay away from him for a while and then maybe see how things would go... But of course my mom invites him on the picnic. I reached the end of the dock when I saw my mom and step dad already with the other family on their boat.
"Hey honey, there isn't enough room on the boat, so you go with Tanner on the wave runner, Okay? I think he brought someone to!" she said as the boat began to drive away.
"Wait! Ugh... It's useless..." I grumbled to myself. If only she knew what situation I was in.
I placed my bag with my cell phone in it, next to me and sat on the dock for about 5 minutes until I heard footsteps behind me. I clenched my eyes shut and wished I could go back in time and change me ever running into the woods. My heart stopped as the footsteps stopped behind me. I gathered my courage and looked behind me. It wasn't Tanner... It was some long, dark brown, haired, tall boy who was looking down at me.
Was this the kid that Tanner brought? He was strange.
He was about to say something when someone interrupted. 
"Yo! Kyle!!" I heard as I looked past the boy.
Tanner was running down the hill with the waverunner keys in his hand, waving at us like a mad man. When he finally reached the dock, he saw me, and smiled. I was so relieved to see that smile that I smiled along with him, happy to see that he wasn't grudging over me blowing him off in a hurry. Tanner was such a nice guy... But I wonder if he wants to know about what happened in the woods... 
"Hey Tan Tan." The kid, Kyle, laughed.
"Hey!! I said not to call me that! Haha, so dude, you ready to go? You to?" He asked as he looked over at me.
I dumbly nodded and got up from the dock. I wanted to make up with Tanner, and maybe on the ride there, I could explain and apologize. He was the first friend I had made so far, and I didn't want to seem like a psycho for running and crying all the time away from him. 
"I'll take you on my runner and-" He was cut off.
"Nah, dude. I'll take her, you need to take the food." Kyle interrupted smiling innocently.
"Oh yea...But... I guess you can take her... but wait for me okay?!" he said somewhat disappointed, while running back up to his house.
"Hey! Tanner!" I tried saying, but he was already out of distance. I didn't want to be left with this weird kid.
I looked back at Kyle, the kid I just kind of met, and awkwardly stood as he went to get his own runner. He pulled by the dock and lifted his hand out to me, implying me to take it. I could feel myself blushing hard as I reached for it and got on. He passed me a life jacket, and I put it on. Once the last buckle on the jacket was clicked, he took off. I reached for his waste and held on for dear life. What was he doing? What about Tanner?? Who was this kid??? 
"Hey, hold on by the way, we'll catch up with Tanner later, I've got a better spot we can hang!" He said excitedly.
I turned behind me to see the disappearing dock, the disappearing house, and the disappearing bag I had left on the dock, with my cell phone in it.

 

Breathe
Chapter 4:

"Ugh..." I moaned while I woke up. I spent all night waking up from the same nightmare...

"DADDY!!!"

"Ughhhh, get out of my head!" I whined.
  I looked over my shoulder to see what time it was.
1:03 p.m.  
 "Better get in my swim suit." I told myself.

I shuffled through my new room. Everything was so unfamiliar still. This wasn't anything like the apartment we use to have. This room was huge, and there was a huge window with a huge wooden balcony overlooking the huge lake. To 'huge' for my liking. I finally found my swim suit. Yesterday Drake and mom felt bad for leaving me alone so today me and my "family" are going to go to sand bars and have lunch. Even though a sand bar is the last place I want to be since yesterday. I'm probably going to just scoot away while Drake and Mom get romantic anyway. G.R.O.S.S. I put my hair up in a pony tail, put shorts and a shirt on over my bathing suit and headed down stairs.

"Hey kiddo!" Drake said enthusiastically. 
"So I heard someone hung out with Tanner yesterday! They've been my neighbors for years, great people!" Drake explained.
 "What did you hear?!" I questioned.
  Drake looked at me confused, so I just shrugged it off and sat down.

"Soo! Is he cute honey?" my mom asked
 "MOM!!!" I said embarrassed.
 "So.... Is that a yes!" my mom replied cheerfully.
 "UGHHHHH" I groaned.

"Haha, hey! Now if he starts liking you, I'm going to have to talk to him about leaving my daughter alone. I mean, I am your Dad!" He said smiling at my mom as she grinned back.
 I flinched at what he said.
"How can he say that? he's not my dad... I feel sick..." I thought.
 I slowly got up from the table even, though I had just sat down, and walked out the door as Drake and my mom were deep in conversing.

 At first I was walking away from that house...
"I am your Dad"
and then I was pacing...
"Dad..."
and then I was jogging...
"DADDY??"
and then I was running.

I just couldn't hear "Dad" from Drake, and be in that fantasy perfect my mom and Drake were living, I couldn't. He wasn't my dad, he was a stupid, rich replacement that was starting a new family that I was NOT apart of. I had a family... and it was all ruined because of me that day...
 
I was heading for the woods near the peer and ran full speed in. I was sad and I was mad, and confused, and regretful... and I was just a mess. I ran for a little while before I ended up in a small non wooded patch of land that had a bench facing the lake. I trotted over to it and sat down... and I began to cry.

I didn't want to be a girl without her real Dad, and I didn't want to be the girl who was in a family where she didn't belong. I just wanted my Daddy to come rushing back to me and throw me in the air and hold me so tight I knew he would leave me alone again... I want THAT back. But I'm not 4 anymore... and my daddy isn't alive anymore... And  it was all because-

"Aidan?" Someone asked.

I flinched when I recognized the voice. Tanner was standing behind.
"No not him... I was so cold to him yesterday... Now he's gonna be suspicious again" I thought, "Maybe he didn't see me crying! Oh no, I cant stop the tears... Please don't look at me Tanner... please don't".
 
"How did you find this place? It's my secret camping site..." He      surprised.
 "Oh, thank God... He didn't see me crying" I thought relieved. " I just have to avoid making eye contact so he cant see me."
 "Oh 'sniff' your secret hiding camp site? I'm sorry 'sniff' I'll just leave and act as if I didn't find it, okay? So Bye." I uttered to him.

I was walking away when he ran up and grabbed my arm.
 "Don't look at me, don't look at me, don't look at me." I thought.
 "Umm... Do you need something Tanner?" I asked.
 "Look at me..." He demanded.
 "Wha-" I tried saying before he flung me around.
 "I knew it... Aidan... Why are you crying?! Why were you crying yesterday? And what did you mean by "Don't leave me again" yesterday? Aidan??" He asked me determinedly.

"I'm.. I'm not crying. I'm... I'm..." I couldn't finish my sentence. I'm what? "fine", "okay"?  None of that was true. The truth is, is that I'm not okay anymore. And I want help, but I don't. I don't know anything about anything anymore.
I shook him off and took a step back from him, turned around, and dashed away from him... for the second time...
 "Aidan, wait!" He yelled after me.
 "He's running after me? Wha... What the heck? What does he want with me?? I just met him!" I questioned myself. 
 I ran so hard I couldn't breathe anymore, but eventually, I got out of the woods and fell onto the grass to calm down. Tanner hopefully either gave up, or lost me.
 "Why is he everywhere I go?!" I asked myself.

I got up from the ground after a few minutes and trudged home, trying to act as if I wasn't just crying my eyes out and that I wasn't just chased through the woods by Tanner. I walked through the door where I saw my mom and Drake packing everything for the picnic.
I didn't want to see Drake or my mom, or even Tanner, but I had to ignore the way I felt about Drake and my mom for now to keep them at ease. I don't need anymore drama.

"Oh, your back! Did you go for a walk sweet heart?" My mom asked.
 "Yea..." I replied blankly.
 "Okay! Well we'll be leaving soon, but I've got great news Aidan!" She said happily.
 "What?" I asked.
 "Well we decided to invite Tanner and his family on our little picnic since I'm sure you'd get bored alone! Wont that be fun?" She said giddily.

"WHAT?"

 

Breathe
Chapter 3:

He suddenly grabbed my hand and started leading us to the wave runners. I stared at our interlocked hands.
"We... We are holding hands!" I thought.

"I have the best sand bar in the world, it liteally looks like a island! It has a tiny wood in the middle with a beach rimmed around it! You'll love it!" He said excitedly.
He pulled me along the path and with every step, I was wishing i could turn back around.
He eventually let go of my hand as we got to the wave runners. He walked over to his, put it in the water and put his life jacket on, while I walked to mine, which was already in the water, put on my life jacket, and tried turning on the wave runner.

'RRR'  'RRR'  'RRR'

"What? Why isn't it turning on?" I asked aloud.
 I looked at the dashboard to see the "no gas" icon flashing.
 "I'm out of gas?" I said annoyed.
 "You can ride with me then." Tanner offered.
 "What? Ride on with him?!" I thought.
 "Come on! We don't have all day!" He interrupted, "You have to see this place! Trust me." He smiled.
 I finally got on and slid to the very back, as far as I could get from him.
 "Aidan... You have to hold onto me if you don't want to fall off..." Tanner explained.
 "HOLD ONTO HIM??? I cant to that!!! Thats like a backwards hug!" I told myself.
 He saw me looking troubled, but said,
"I promise you won't fall off. Just hold on to me, okay?"
I cautiously scooted forward and wrapped my arms around his waist.
 "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god." I repeated in my head.

"HOLD ON!!" He yelled.

He sped off at full speed, hitting every wave and making the wave runner fly in the air. "You having fun Aidan?" He yelled back to me as he laughed. I was having fun... But at the same time I was crushing Tanners rib cage because I was scared out of my mind.

We drove for a while until we eventually got to this islandy looking sand bar. "Well, this is it! Doesn't it look like an island, like I said?" He asked me excitedly.
"Wow... it's really beautiful..." I whispered.
He got off the wave runner and pulled it to shore. I got off to.
My feet landed in the warm sand and the wind blew against my skin.
This place was something out of a movie. Everything was beautiful, even the water around this tiny island looked clearer than the water by the peer.
"Hey, Aidan, stay right here, I'll be right back, I promise." He said.
Before I could even utter a word he disappeared into the woods without an explanation.
I hate being alone.
"Crap!" I exclaimed, "I forgot to bring my phone..." Now I was really alone. I walked in circles for a while before I decided to sit down.
"How long has it been? Like 30 minutes? Where is he?" I asked myself.
I got up and I began to pace around again. I had waited even longer for him.
"Where is he? Is he hurt? Did he leave me?" I started to get more panicked as time went further by.
"Where are you??? It's been two hours Did you ditch me? Are you hurt somewhere? Why did you have to leave me alone? I hate being alone!" I got hectic. I hate being alone, I hate when people leave... I'm always afraid they won't ever come back...

"Aidan, stay here for Daddy... Don't move, I'll be back, I promise."
"Okay Daddy! I'll Wait!"
"Thats my little girl! I'll be back in a bit!"
...
"Daddy?"
"DADDY??!!!"

Tears started rolling down my cheeks. I got up and I ran into the woods. "TANNER? Where are you? Are you hurt? Talk to me!!" I screamed as I ran deeper in to the woods. "Please! Are you there? Please? DONT LEAVE ME AGAIN!!!"

"I here..." Tanner interrupted..

I didn't turn around. He couldn't see me crying. I wiped the tears from my eyes and tried my best to sound normal.
"Where were you?" I asked casually without looking at him.
"Well, I hid these fishing poles behind a tree, but I forgot which tree so I was searching everywhere for them... Plus I was digging up some bait." He explained. "Oh..." I replied.
"Whats wrong with me? Why did I ever think that this situation would end like that one did?" I thought.

"Aidan? Are you alright? And what did you mean by "Don't leave me again"?" Tanner asked.
"I'm fine. I want to go home... Now, please..." I begged him.
He didn't argue. We walked all the way back in silence, me leading the way, him following behind. "He must think I'm a freak... Why do I always ruin everything that comes my way?" I criticized myself in my mind.
We got to the wave runner, packed our stuff, and drove away.
We drove away in silence to, and to make things worse I had to hold onto him again. We eventually got back, and he dropped me off at the peer.
"Aidan... Talk to me..." He pleaded.
I couldn't talk to him, I couldn't talk to anyone... no one understood the pain I was going through... no one... I'm alone...
I looked back at him and forced a smile,
"I had fun Tanner... See you later..." And I walked away. 

 

Breathe
Chapter 2:

I woke up this morning to the sound of a cars engine. I got up and saw that no one was upstairs with me.
 So I trudged down stairs and saw a note on the counter.

Good morning Aidan,
Me and Drake are going to shop for more baby equipment, and after are going out for dinner. We won't be back until around 8 or 9. I left money for you on the table, and the wave runner keys are in the drawer.
XOXO
-Mom

"Figures" I thought, "Might as well have fun today."
 I walked over to the drawer and pulled out the wave runners key and then walked up to my room. I looked in my closet and found my favorite swim suit and shorts and put them on. 
 "Hmm I wonder where I'll go..." I thought, "Maybe to-"
 I was glanced outside.
 "CRAP!" I said.

Tanner was walking in the direction of my house and looking at it.
 "Oh no... What does he want? I don't want to talk to him! He made me say that "my cat was calling me" because I was trying to get away from him!" I mound.
 I needed to get away from him, I didn't want to see him at all.
I paced around my room trying to think of a way to get out of the house without him catching me. 
 "I know!" I said.

I rushed to my wooden balcony, opened the doors, and looked to the side of the house. There was a vine vence attached to the wall.

'DING DONG'

"Oh no! He's here already?" I panicked, " Okay, Okay! You can do this Aidan! You just have to..."  I looked down... Its was HIGH.
 "Oh God..." I whispered.

'DING DONG' 'DING DONG'

"Just do it Aidan! Don't be such a wuss!" I ordered myself.
 I slung my feet around the edge of the balcony and reached for the fence. I grabbed it. I then put my feet on the fence.
 "Okay half way... So far so good!" I reassured myself.
 I slowly started climbing down, every step closer to freedom.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"

I looked down, Tanner was underneath me staring up in utter confusion. I was so surprised that he had caught me climbing down, that... I accidentally let go... and I started to fall.
 "AIDAN!!!" Tanner yelled.
 I could feel my body falling, but I couldn't scream. I was to terrified to even breathe.  "Oh no! I'm gonna die!" I thought as I closed my eyes.
 
'WHAM'
 
I opened my eyes and looked around.
 "Is this Heavan??" I asked.
 "Well...From where I am... Its closer to hell..." Tanner grunted.
 I looked down. I was sitting on his stomach and he was sprawled out on the ground looking up at me.  "He's saved my life? He went and tried to catch me??" I thought to myself.
 "Thank... Thank you!! Are you alright?" I managed to ask.
 "Well, I'd feel a lot better if a certain someone got off of me, please." He motioned.
 I blushed. I immediately got off of him and helped him to his feet. 

"Are you alright? Did you break something? Are you feeling okay?" I questioned him.
 "Yeah... I've been in worse shape than this. No need to worry." He said.
 "Okay good... I would've felt bad..." I confessed.

"You feel bad??? I feel bad!! I scared you enough to climb out your window and fall from ten feet in the air!!" he argued, "Speaking of which, why did you climb out your window, when you could have just waited for me to leave?" 
 "WHY DIDNT I EVEN CONSIDER THAT???" I thought.

I glared down at the ground, feeling like a total idiot, until I heard Tanner start to laugh.
 "HAHAHA! Jeez! Your unlike anyone I have ever met! Instead of waiting until the person leaves, you climb out the window! HAHAHA!" He laughed.
 I looked at him as I watched him laugh. He had the same goofy smile on his face he had when I had first met him. He caught me looking at his face and asked me,
"Well, now that there isn't a window you can climb out of, do you want to hand out?"

"Sure..." I muttered.

He smiled.

Breathe
Chapter 1:

The warm summer wind blew my hair away from my face, and I stared at the water as I dangled my feet off the peer. 
"It's the beginning of summer and I've already got a new home, Dad, and a baby on its way." I sarcastically said to myself.
My Dad died when I was 4, so I've lived alone with my Mom until she recently got remarried.  The grooms name is Drake and  he owns a business here in Wisconsin.
We moved into his "by the lake side" home three weeks ago, during the end of my school year, and now my Mom's already pregnant. He doesn't even see me
and now my mom doesn't see me either. They're to busy with their baby on the way. So I'm 
alone... as always. 
"GOD!! It's hot as hell!" someone said.
I looked behind me to see a boy walking down the peer. He was looking the other way. I didn't even get a good look at him, but for some reason I didn't want him to see me. I slid quickly and quietly into the water and hid underneath the peer. 
I listened to his foot steps reach the middle of the peer, when they stopped. I waited awhile confused, then decided to take a peek. I looked to the left. No one. To the right. Nobody.
"Hmm...  I guess he left?" I said confused to myself.
"Who left?"  someone asked.
I froze. I could feel my heart beat in my throat.
"He's behind me? How did he... oh my god he must've seen me hide! He must think I'm crazy!" I thought.

I held my breath and stayed completely still. Maybe if I didn't move, he'd get bored and leave! I learned that on the discovery channel when birds are searching for prey.

He leaned his head forward to see my face.
"umm... your kinda turning purple..." he said laughing.
I exhaled loudly and took several deep breaths in.

"Haha, did I take your breath away?" He teased.
I turned his way and saw his face. He had brown long hair and brown eyes to match. He was taller than me to, and had the goofiest grin on I had ever seen.

"umm... is there something on my face?" he said concerned.

"oh no, I was staring at his face! What's wrong with me? Say something already you creep!" I thought to myself.

"My name is Aidan, nice to meet you..." 

"Haha, what? I cant hear you, speak up!" he ordered.

"My...My name is Aidan, nice to meet you..." I stuttered.

"Well Aidan, I was gonna introduce myself properly before, but one second your on the peer, the next, you're disappearing into the water as if I was gonna attack you! So I came in to! Haha, So my name is Tanner, and I haven't seen you around here before. Did you Move in? How old are you? Where do you live?" Tanner questioned me.
 "umm... you're turning purple again..." He said.

"DANGIT! Discovery channel, you don't help at all." I thought.

After I caught my breath again, I pulled myself up onto the peer and left him in the water looking confused. I took a deep breath and said,
"I did just move here from Illinois, I'm 15 and I live in the house at the top of the hill. It was really nice meeting you, but I think I hear my cat calling me, bye!" I then turned and ran down the peer.

"MY CAT???" I thought as I dashed away. "THATS ALL I COULD THINK OF? I DONT EVEN OWN A CAT!"

Tanner watched as Aidan ran away.
"Her cat, hmm?" he chuckled to himself.
"She doesn't seem like the cat person to me. More like a fish out off water. She can't really breathe." He said curiously to himself.




 

Today My Grandma

And Me Were Talking About My Grandpa, Her Husband. 
He Past Away 15 Years Ago,  So I Don't Know Much About Him. She Told Me Stories Of How They Had Each Others Backs And How Much They Loved Each Other.

She Even Said:

"You Only Have One Soul Mate In The Whole World,
And Some People Don't Get The Chance To Meet Theirs, But I Had The Pleasure Of Being With Mine For 56 Years."

I Started Crying Really Hard  When She Said That.
And She Looked At Me Really Funny
And Asked Me Why In The World Was I Crying So Hard.
I Told Her I Thought It Was So Sad That She Couldn't See Him Any More.
She Laughed And Looked At Me With Her Gentle Eyes And
Said:

"Haha, Theres No Reason To Cry Sweet Heart,
At The Moment, He's Just Playing Hard To Get."
 

If I Said That I Loved You,
Would You love Me Back To?
Or Would You Try And Walk Away,
And Avoid Me Every Single Day.
Im To Scared To Even Try,
So To Myself, I Guess I'll Lie

I  Wish Guys
Were As Obsessed With 
Love
As Girls Are